Ok so if someone were to ask me that queston my first response would be the answers in the question. I mean how can you better explain not wanting to be here? Its the way you feel if you dont want to be at work except with much greater consequences if you leave. This probably sounds better in my head lol. But why is this person want to know anyway? There are a million other questons to ask you like why are you so interesting? What are your favorite hobbies? There is so much more to you than whether or not you want to be here. So I understand you being baffled my this request. And I hope that you can find a reason to want to live because the world would be missing someting wondeful if you were to leave it.

Life is the only game in town that offers us a chance to grow and to be happy or at least satisfied. One way to combat not wanting to be here is to pack up and move to a place that offers more support and fulfillment. But death is a dead end and we deserve better.

I think it's good food for thought and it's a wonderful thing when someone wants to understand our illness the best they can... Hearing and listening are good skills to have
I'm really sorry you're in a dark place sweetie... Big hug for you...xo

My therapist said she'd fire me if I kept talking about it. This was years ago. I have actually been able to take that stop off the bus route and make the last stop the hospital. That said, people, even professionals, have no idea what it feels like unless they have been there. Trying to capture the hopelessness and emptiness in words is so difficult.

I hope you feel better soon, Boxy.