Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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BB8484 07/13/2017

3 years ago was there first time I was diagnosed bipolar. I have been on and off depression meds and mood stabilizers for about 7 years. I also have alcoholism and have attempted suicide 4 times. Last summer this landed me in a comma. I was put on lithium and benzos and stopped drinking but didn't improve. So I weined off both meds and focused on not drinking for a while it worked but the longer I stayed sober the crazier I got. A few nights ago I was suicidal and had a breakdown. Every time before I blamed alcohol for those thoughts now I know with the highs and lows it is bipolar. I just didn't want to accept it. I already am an alcoholic now this too? I feel crazy! Am I? And I don't want to have to take medicine for the rest of my life. But I do want to get better and live. Today I went back to my psychiatrist and started back on meds. He started me on lamictal and lowered my Prozac which I was already on. I just hate the med game. Sometimes I feel like a test rat trying all these meds when they don't always work and have horrible side effects. I'm hoping now that I'm sober they will work. Prayers would be appreciated. I just wanted to connect with some other people with like minds. I believe I can overcome this it's just a matter of getting the right meds and keeping with them. Hope everyone is blessed. I AM BIPOLAR AND TODAY I ACCEPT THAT.

mlr0853 07/13/2017

Hi BB..welcome. Yes, as I understand many times alcoholics will self-medicate with what they drink...alcohol s a depressant. Good For You for your efforts to remain sober!

I also understand the frustrations with medication and needing to take it for life. I too am on Lamictal and Zoloft...I call them my Thank You God drugs because they gave me back my life with no side effects like weight gain or sick stomach on lithium.

It's good you've accepted bp, I can only hope you will come to understand, like any other disease, bp is just that...a disease, a chemical imbalance...bp Is Not Who You Are so you don't have to wear the dx like a label...bp is just one small part of all the different hats you wear each day...my best to you :)

SunCloudJD 07/13/2017

HI and Welcome BB..... I'm glad that you've found us!!..... Yes there is stability to be had..... It can take some time so you might have to try and be patient for a while.... What works for one person might not work for another but we do have a treatable and controllable disorder

Are you in any type of program like AA?

Support is a big help when you're trying to find stability ...... There are a lot of tools that can help..... therapy, meditation, gratitude, venting, journal ling etc

Big hug and a blessing...... Tnings will improve...... The best thing you can do for yourself IMHO is work with the disorder not against it...... xo

beachshore 07/13/2017

Welcome and I know accepting that we have a mental health issue is not fun. Trying to get medications right has been a nightmare for me too. I am proud of you for not drinking. That is a huge step. People in this group are very helpful and we will support you through this. Peace

BB8484 07/13/2017

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I do go to aa and weekly therapy which has both been a big help. I'm praying the meds work but I just have to be patient for now. Really grateful for this support group and the understanding you all have. Peace and love.

Dags 07/13/2017

Hi there. I agree : medications are a bitch but sadly without them you will keep ending up in hospital or at least lead an unstable life controlled by your emotions. Somehow we have to try to come to peace with our meds. I am still trying to get there. You said you were more stable when you were drinking and got worse the longer you were sober. But weren't you on lithium while you were drinking? I hope everything will wok out for you. You have come already a long way by staying sober. Ps: i am also on lamotrigine as well amongst other drugs. It is my favourite as it has absolutely no side effects. It is said to protect from the depth of depression.

beachshore 07/13/2017

How many mugs of Prozac are you on? Has it helped to increase motivation and stop the depression?

Sunshinegirl0228 07/13/2017

Acceptance. Great speech. You're right. Working on finding the right meds can leave you feeling like a human guinea pig. It sucks but is a necessary evil

MoobbusT 07/13/2017

Hey there. I hope this time round the meds and dosages that suit you get found quickly. Nearly every beeper I have heard about that goes off meds or self medicates [to extremes] has more thinking and feeling problems; particularly chaotic thinking and it's companion... poor decision making, as a result. I know I did and still do sometimes as would many here. You are not alone if you have had that experience by any means.

Welcome aboard the board and I hope you get what you want or need from DS. Best of luck.

MerryBerry474 07/14/2017

Hi! Well, in essence, we have to be test rats because no one knows what will work for us. I love Lamictal. Initially I did get a very itchy rash (not the dangerous kind) that lasted a couple of weeks. Also, *horrifying*, gory nightmares that went away. After I stabilized I noticed a huge decrease in alcohol cravings for 6+ months. Unfortunately, that went away the longer I took it, but it was great for me to get some sober time. I suddenly lost all sugar cravings as well, and I'm still having that effect to a lesser extent as when I first started. I think alcoholism is partially a sugar addiction or some susceptibility to it. For me, med adjustments are just a part of life. Stuff works for a while, then it stops, then something else is tried that does something crazy, etc.
If you are feeling suicidal, please go to the ER so you can go to the psych ward for your own safety.

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