I have been where you are... i am not in school, but my boss is threatening to cut me to part time and my wages $500 per month if i don't "snap out of it" within a month. I was reminded today of his warning and told i have to have a load of stuff done on his desk or else. I am the art director of a national magazine..and im scared because this is the dream job i've always wanted and this damn disorder could take it away from me! BUT on the good side, i am feeling better, my meds are starting to take effect, and i hopefully will be able to pull it off and stay at this job. Be lucky you aren't as DOWN as i was.... i was at the suicidal point and that is not a good place to be. Make sure you go to therapy...get on meds...and you can lead a normal life. Good luck and god bless you!

how are you doing regarding the suicidal or thoughts of death? having any? or if you are, you battling them okay?

Trust me, I know where you are at. I was diagnosed 5 years ago at the age of 43. I am bi-polar 1, rapid cycler. And, when I say rapid, I mean lightening speed. I have a great psychiatrist, but even so, it is a constant game with my meds.
Depression is an huge ugly monster that I cannot wrap my arms around. As quick as it goes, it comes back. Memory, or should I say, lack thereof. When I mention it to friends and family, they laugh and say that's not BP , that's life. They don't understand. Simple tasks that you do everyday, suddenly you don't remember how to do them.

It's only now, 5 years later, that I think it has finally sinking in. I am BP, and no matter how many meds I take or how good my doctor is, my BP is going to take up a great deal of my life.

I am lucky - I have a 13 year-old son (have to brag - he returned last week from the Junior Olympics in
Colorado. He's a freestyle skiier and qualified for the Halfpipe) I have a great boyfriend that I have dated for 2 years, and very supportive parents. Even with all of my blessings, I still spend a good part of my life swinging from mania to depression.

it sounds like you're manic right now. don't try to run from it. don't try to pretend it's not there. but do realize that's just where you are right now not where you are always going to be. it's going to be okay. i know it's hard to concentrate. it's hard to relax. take a really hot shower/bath. the temp will calm you plus there's nothing to do in there so you will have to relax. don't get creative and start scrubbing the tub. just relax. i always sit down in the shower. i don't know but it works. hope you're doing alright. let me know how it goes.

I often wonder when there will be some sense of calm. I doubt that will ever happen. I am BP1 rapid cycler. Oh joy! I feel like I never get a brake. I am in a depressed state right now and I'm waiting for all my meds to kick in and work together. Started Lithium last month. Will it work? who the hell knows. I just take each minute as it comes and focus on the here and now and try to work through each issue as it comes. I wish you luck and I will be thinking of you.

I know how you feel. It is so painful and frustrating and scary. I find it helps a bit to just take it one day at a time and try not to look to far ahead. The here and now is enough to handle. Do they have a counseling program at school that could help you? I think if they knew what was going on they would not kick you out, but more likely give you a medical leave of absence until you are ready to return.