Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I am conflicted. I'm not accustomed to letting people in but I want to. I'm always one to say that I'm an open book. I always act like me and will voice my opinions about anything you ask me about. But /this/ I hold back. I've heard close friends who don't know that I'm bipolar speak so negatively about another friend of mine that told all of us about him having it. They have pulled away somewhat and even though it was in part due to some of my bipolar friend's actions when things were bad for him, it makes me wonder....Will I suddenly become a different person to them if I reveal my secret? I don't spend much time with them anymore....but then...I don't spend much time with anyone anymore.
Back to topic, I don't feel like now is the time but I /want/ be 100% honest and open. Even my close and most trusted friends are left in the dark. Sure, some of them know I seem to have more extreme ups and downs than most people but they don't really know why. We just say that I'm feeling particularly passionate, fun, and/or energetic. And when I am low, they just don't see me.
As I said, I like this girl, and I want to open up. I could easily just be me and not bring up or avoid the topic. Just like with my friends, giving it a name doesn't change who I am. We aren't officially a couple yet at this point and I'd rather not scare her off but I rather hate the idea of hiding something. I deplore deception but I want her to fully know and accept me before asking her to accept a word that changes nothing but has such an unpleasant stigma.
Back to topic, I don't feel like now is the time but I /want/ be 100% honest and open. Even my close and most trusted friends are left in the dark. Sure, some of them know I seem to have more extreme ups and downs than most people but they don't really know why. We just say that I'm feeling particularly passionate, fun, and/or energetic. And when I am low, they just don't see me.
As I said, I like this girl, and I want to open up. I could easily just be me and not bring up or avoid the topic. Just like with my friends, giving it a name doesn't change who I am. We aren't officially a couple yet at this point and I'd rather not scare her off but I rather hate the idea of hiding something. I deplore deception but I want her to fully know and accept me before asking her to accept a word that changes nothing but has such an unpleasant stigma.
The reason I mentioned that is because when asked for my profession, I sometimes tell people that I am a freelance technician rather than unemployed and trying to get on disability due to my shame at no longer being able to hold a job.
I didn't want you to think that I left her with the impression that I was working away with no problems.
She didn't* ask for details.
Might make interesting conversation on your honeymoon, "oh yea, btw, I'm bipolar". If he or she doesn't run for an annulment then they are a keeper. :)