Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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bicyclesarereallycool 01/08/2015

I know this may seem very strange, but I have 0 desire to have sex. and I never really have wanted it, so I don't think it's due to depression or something.

For the longest time I thought I was asexual. Then I found a guy I liked when I was 21. We dated 4 months, but I never even felt really to kiss him. I tried to force myself to think about sex when I was with him because I wanted to get married, but whenever I thought about it, even with a guy I really liked and thought about all the time, I didn't like the idea of it.

I am in my mid-twenties and I want to get married. I think about men and dating all the time, but I still have no interest in sex. Everyone else seems to want it and says it's the best thing in the world, but I don't get how. I have tried to see therapists over the years to help me with this issue, but even after much counseling, I still don't want it anymore than I previously did.

Is there a way that I can make myself want sex more? I feel like there is something wrong with me :(

irishwriter 01/08/2015

try to relax and stop thinking about 'sex'. love making is about expressing your feelings for another person intimately and you have not met the person with whom you want to do that yet. start with yourself and get to know your own body and what pleases you about yourself and what turns you on and love yourself. knowing you are a beautiful person who deserves all the love in the world is a good place to start. there are no rules about it. most of all be comfortable with who you are and what feels right to you and all will be well at the right time for you. there is no need to force the issue. relax and have fun with people you like and the rest will come when the time is right. and you will enjoy it. hugs.

bicyclesarereallycool 01/08/2015

Hi Irishwriter,

Thanks for your thoughts! I appreciate it :)

Precious97 01/08/2015

After surviving many rapes, I HATE the idea of sex so don't feel alone.

tommymott 01/08/2015

Then don't have sex. In the broad spectrum of human sexuality there's a niche for everyone and not wanting sex is one, and very normal.

bicyclesarereallycool 01/08/2015

Thanks everyone :) I have friends who keep telling me that it's wrong for me to date a guy and have a boyfriend if I don't want sex. They said it's being really unfair and selfish. Some said God would even punish me for it. The problem is, I do want someone in my life, I just don't want sex. I have tried everything, masterbation and therapy, even looking at graphic images and whatever and none of it helps. I used to only want to get married for kids, but now I actually want someone to spend my time with, but I just cant force this area of my life at the moment :(. I would be more open to dating a woman and would likely feel more comfortable having sex with her, but even then it seems odd to me and my family and friends would all disown me because they are against homosexuality.

Amuseme 01/08/2015

It seems to me that you should honor your feelings of being attracted to women. If that truly is the case then you will never want to have sex with a man. And, if you are a lesbian and want to experience true love you'll have to take the heat and see what happens. (or stay in the closet)

SunCloudJD 01/08/2015

A lot of people choose to wait until they're married to have sex... To say you shouldn't date if you're not going to have sex is ridiculous to me.. I think someone is giving you crappy advise
There is no reason to have sex if you don't want to... That's personal... There are several lesbian and gay boards on DS you might want to explore and people that might be a good support for you
This one is Lesbian challenges... I hope that you can find a way to love the person you are sweetie....x

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Lesbian-Relationship-Challenges/support-group

bicyclesarereallycool 01/08/2015

Thanks, yes. I'll check out the LGBTQ boards. Maybe someone there can help...

beckyp 01/08/2015

Have you ever seen a doctor about this? It couldn't hurt to talk to one about it. Maybe a gynecologist.

dobiedots 01/08/2015

Or a therapist. There might be something in your past or your upbringing that turned you off to sex.

Suninbloom 01/08/2015

I have been in a relationship for 7 years with a man who has ED (Erectile dysfunction) and we don't have sex. We have cuddled and done things orally (If you want to call that sex ok but I don't). Until the last 3 years of which we have not even done anything orally. SO that is 3 years with no sex of any kind. And we're just fine with that. I like 0 sex better I think. But I still need hugs once in a while just for good measure hehe.

GildedLily 01/08/2015

I agree, you should be true to your own feelings. At the end of the day we all have to live with our choices, not what our family and friends would choose for us. Try to relax and have some fun. See where it takes you.

Wishing you the best.

bicyclesarereallycool 01/08/2015

Thanks everyone for your positivity and help. My GP is also an OB and I discussed with her about how I didn't have attraction to men...back then I didn't think I was lez/bi, that's only been more in recent years. Anyways, I haven't talked to her since I was 21, but when I was 21 she said she didn't think it was a big deal. Back then I didn't care so much about dating, but now I feel like my mom hormones are starting to kick in and I'm ready to settle down. Doesn't help that almost all of my friends are already dating, married, or engaged, either. But I'll try to stay cool about it.

malibumark 01/08/2015

I think it's OK too for you to just not want sex. BUT I have heard that hormone therapy can improve a person's drive.
Someone close to me after having children, lost the desire to have sex. She went on I think testosterone or something and it helped.

bicyclesarereallycool 01/08/2015

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll consider talking to a doctor about it.

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