What are you trying to achieve Hanna?

don't know if I understand the question....could you give more details; are you struggling with something in particular today? Are you getting support from your family?

I'm just a little bit on the roller coaster. Moods swinging fairly regularly. Sorry for lack of detail....I just feel like I'm doing everything I can possibly do and I'm still on this damn roller coaster.

I do get support from my family (they're all beepers too).

Truth be told you are probably doing the best you can. All the activities you mentioned are esteemable acts. If you keep doing them you are bound to reap self-esteem; you will feel better about yourself in due season. What is going on? You sound very frustrated. Because we have this illness at times we will be symptomatic despite our best efforts. Talk to me, I've been to hell myself.

I certainly can relate to that since I get like that too. I'm glad that your family is helpful. I wish I had the answer. It sounds like you get plenty of suggestions that you can and do try. I don't want to ramble on and give you even more suggestions cause that might not be helpful. I'm sorry. Wish I could be more helpful. Just please know that I understand and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I too pray and direct my thoughts to you. I am glad I have suffered so severely, for I have reaped the capacity for empathy. I am in a decent space and hence can be grateful. It is very hard to be thankful in a tornado. I have fought this twister for nearly 30 years, so trust me when I say there is hope.

Bless you Hanna. You are great!!

I know this might sound a bit mad Hanna, but when I did all that, it didnt work for me.

When I thought, f*ck it, im sick of monitoring everything i frikkin do and say and talking to other people about everything I do and say, and became less obsessed with my condition... I realised I was actually triggering myself into faster, harder cycling from being so obsessed with my own and everyone elses suffering.

I spent time with friends and family and family doctor telling them my signs. Said if they see more than three for more than 3 days, then get me aware or to the doc.

Works so far.

Hanna, it is so easy to get frustrated when you are doing all that you are and feeling no progress. I think you are doing an amazing job of doing things to help you with your illness. I have not heard you mention anything that you are doing for you. Sometimes we focus so much on the illness, we forget about feeding our own personal needs.

It is especially difficult when you have younge children, but even more important to pay attention to your own needs then. I find I have to stay physically and mentally strong especially while cycling. It is important for me to exercise in some way daily, meditate, take supplements like omega 3, vitamin D and vitamin B complex. It is also important to find things to do that I enjoy, like my art, quilting, scrapbooking etc. Interaction with people through volunteering at the shelter and food pantry have helped me a great deal. Going out with friends once in a while or having lunch with a family member just to keep in touch and avoid isolation which can come so easy for me.

I think the most important thing is to keep "well rounded" in what we do to take care of ourselves. All of this does not always come naturally, it is something we have to build on over time. I have spent alot of years learning what things help and what things dont. Try to find things that take you out of that space of always focusing on your illness. Work on finding things that help you know who you are and what you enjoy doing to bring some joy into your life.

Hugs

Thanks all for your replies.

I have found lately that I don't feel like doing much of anything. I force myself to get cleaning and laundry done. I have lots of projects that I've started but I don't have any inkling to finish them...like scrapbooking, paint by numbers, sewing crafts. I'm just so unmotivated.

I wish I felt up to doing all those things. It might make me feel better.

exercise.

"Having done all...rest in God (your conception thereof) that is what I'm trying to do- my struggle is outlined in my recent post. Give yourself some credit for working so hard on your recovery, Go out of your way to reach out to the most desperate on this site, I find it very cathartic and rewarding. For someone so young you are light years ahead of me at your age. I am proud of you. Contact me any time.