Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

8,884 Members

129,557 Posts

0 Online

blessedgirl 07/21/2014

For me it would be fear I think...Isn't that awful? I'm afraid that if I don't work on myself, take my meds, go to my groups, therapy, pdoc...I think I'll end up dead or drunk/high which would = prison/hospital/dead. I fear these things for my kids, my mom, and my husband.

My dad did both - stopped working on himself and relapsed on meth and killed himself within a matter of months, after 7 years clean. I know what his suicide did to me and I don't want to do that to my loved ones.

Maybe a nice dose of fear is a good thing for me. I'd like to say that my faith inspires me to keep on keepin on, but I think fear wins out on this one.

Desigol1979 07/22/2014

What keeps me going?

The almost naive hope that one day I'll break free. :)

SistaSouljah 07/22/2014

Blessedgirl, it actually sounds like you're motivated by love, not fear. You aren't afraid of death itself, you're concerned about what it would do to the people you love. It is your love for them and a desire to protect them from any pain that keeps you going....I think that is selfless and beautiful.

For me, it's God. I live for Him, not myself.

blessedgirl 07/22/2014

SistaSouljah that is a really cool way to look at it. Maybe I'm more of a lover and less of a chicken than I think ;). I'll take it.

Halterbroke 07/22/2014

Well, things have been significantly better for me on and off in recent years than they were for the first 10 of this sucky illness. Having tasted a pleasant life, even with BP, leaves me wanting more of that so I keep trying and striving for it, taking care of myself when things get bad, and being willing to put up with all the meds changes and therapy and all that knowing it CAN be better. Even when things are really bad my husband and dog need me and hopefully soon a baby will need me too. I don't think it's bad to live for others when you feel you can't live for yourself, if that's what keeps your boat sailing between storms.

pumpkinpumpkin 07/22/2014

Achieving stability - it took time and removing myself from a bad relationship. I do all I can to hang on to it but, I know I am not episode free for sure. I believe if I have an episode I will be able to achieve stability again.

I didn't necessarily heed the advice about sleep, caffeine, alcohol and weed early on and I think I could have achieved stability sooner if I had.
Now I am a very good girl.

olenka1 07/22/2014

Karate & Buddhism keep me inspired & centred.

deleted_user 07/22/2014

growth...I still don't know what kind of bloom I'll have...but I do know now...I have variegated foliage.

inkspring 07/22/2014

My faith in God keeps me going, and love for my kids and grandkids. I know from experience that if I give up I'll spiral down so far and so fast I'll opt out for good. My fear is that hubby and I won't catch it the next time and I'll actually get so lost I'll follow through. He and my family would be devastated. I have to break that chain. My mom, her dad, my father's dad and my cousin all opted out. I don't want my kids to follow suit. I have to break that chain so I absolutely must hang on and do the best I can to live responsibly everyday no matter where I am on the mood scale. Does that sound desperate? I guess it does. But it's the truth.

Amuseme 07/22/2014

I utilized the energies of anger and faith in my inner strength for many years. No need to use anger any longer. Fear of poverty kept me working even when i was symptomatic. Absentmindedness works to my advantage. Once I get past obstacles I forget a lot of them.

Amuseme 07/22/2014

Breaking the chain...me too