Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I have too many problems.
Ordinarilly I wouldn't go two feet of my dad's house on new years eve, but my car was really on the cusp. My dad said he would fix it and just to drive it down (over 80 miles!) to his house because what options did I have. Well I didn't want to but I thought he was right. My car made it but it was bucking and carrying on most of the way.
My dad got drunk new years eve and then woke up in a violent rage the next morning. he sent my 11 year old daughter out side in bare feet and she had to walk a stone drive way to a neighbors house.
I didn't know that yet as I was awaken by my son. I got down stairs only to be bitched at by my father and I"m still not sure what he was angry at me for. He was only about half coherent. I'm sure he was having a black out and doesn't even remember it. His girlfriend's grown kids were also there and we all left like rats abandoning a sinking ship.
I'm so grateful to her son who just picked up my laundry with out me even having to ask him and he put it in my trunk. I found my daughter and had to explain to her that her grand father is a drunk. I was trying to hide that from her but now she knows.
Then she asked why I didn't tell her before. Which I told her I was trying to hide it from her.
Any how I went to my mom's which I"m glad I did so she wasn't alone.
My car still wasn't fixed and I had to drive it all the way back home. I was so worried about it but what could I do?
I said I would never talk to my dad again. I'm pissed and I won't be going around him any more. It's a danger to my mental and physical well being. My mom's boyfriend said that was cold, but I don't care I'm pissed and I will never let it go. I'm cutting every one who is destructive out of my life and blood relation doesn't sway me.
My kids go to a boarding school and only come home on holidays. This holiday was a real eye opener. I could barely keep the house clean or cook. Needless to say I was stressed.
But on the way to the school my daughter was asking me what I would do if she ran away. I told her I would be really sad with out her and that she had better talk to me first. I have no idea what that means but it doesn't sit well with me. My stomach is still doing flip flops over it.
I would love to yank my kids, but I have too many problems. For one I'm not stable enough to take them back. Probably more important than that even is that the schools here suck. This is an upscale ghetto basically. The kids here are violent, uneducated and more concerned about smart phones and name brand fashion even though their parents have horrible dept cuase that couldn't afford those things and took out a loan. (makes sense right?)
I don't want my impressionable daughter who is right now a really good child that makes me proud get mixed in with people I don't socialize with myself. As it stands right now she is in advanced classes with stellar grades and is in many extra curricular activities in including band and drama. She's very talented, and she has an exotic look that models would kill for. She's half puerto rican and she has really full lips and beautiful eyes.
But there are problems with the school also. I just found out she was molested by another girl in her house. I never found out until she told me a year later. It was disturbing to find out.
My son also has problems of his own. He has ADD and he's useless around the house. He needs special attention and a lot of structure that I could never provide. So I worry about him also. But the ADD can be a good thing. He's in his own world so what other kids are doing doesn't even register in his mind. He's very creative, but I can see a lot of dysfunction in him. I worry about him too because the school is very strict and next year I think things will be a whole lot harder on him.
If I had them again, the house would never be clean you can count on that, and I would have problems with going to doctor's appointments since I have no one to help me watch them and also there is no one who could take them if I have to go to the hospital.
Oh yeah btw the car was fixed thankfully it was nothing major but it still cost me 450$ It was a few minor things but add it up and that's what you get.
I'm very depressed about all this. I'm not sure how I can solve it since nothing I do would be a good option.
Ordinarilly I wouldn't go two feet of my dad's house on new years eve, but my car was really on the cusp. My dad said he would fix it and just to drive it down (over 80 miles!) to his house because what options did I have. Well I didn't want to but I thought he was right. My car made it but it was bucking and carrying on most of the way.
My dad got drunk new years eve and then woke up in a violent rage the next morning. he sent my 11 year old daughter out side in bare feet and she had to walk a stone drive way to a neighbors house.
I didn't know that yet as I was awaken by my son. I got down stairs only to be bitched at by my father and I"m still not sure what he was angry at me for. He was only about half coherent. I'm sure he was having a black out and doesn't even remember it. His girlfriend's grown kids were also there and we all left like rats abandoning a sinking ship.
I'm so grateful to her son who just picked up my laundry with out me even having to ask him and he put it in my trunk. I found my daughter and had to explain to her that her grand father is a drunk. I was trying to hide that from her but now she knows.
Then she asked why I didn't tell her before. Which I told her I was trying to hide it from her.
Any how I went to my mom's which I"m glad I did so she wasn't alone.
My car still wasn't fixed and I had to drive it all the way back home. I was so worried about it but what could I do?
I said I would never talk to my dad again. I'm pissed and I won't be going around him any more. It's a danger to my mental and physical well being. My mom's boyfriend said that was cold, but I don't care I'm pissed and I will never let it go. I'm cutting every one who is destructive out of my life and blood relation doesn't sway me.
My kids go to a boarding school and only come home on holidays. This holiday was a real eye opener. I could barely keep the house clean or cook. Needless to say I was stressed.
But on the way to the school my daughter was asking me what I would do if she ran away. I told her I would be really sad with out her and that she had better talk to me first. I have no idea what that means but it doesn't sit well with me. My stomach is still doing flip flops over it.
I would love to yank my kids, but I have too many problems. For one I'm not stable enough to take them back. Probably more important than that even is that the schools here suck. This is an upscale ghetto basically. The kids here are violent, uneducated and more concerned about smart phones and name brand fashion even though their parents have horrible dept cuase that couldn't afford those things and took out a loan. (makes sense right?)
I don't want my impressionable daughter who is right now a really good child that makes me proud get mixed in with people I don't socialize with myself. As it stands right now she is in advanced classes with stellar grades and is in many extra curricular activities in including band and drama. She's very talented, and she has an exotic look that models would kill for. She's half puerto rican and she has really full lips and beautiful eyes.
But there are problems with the school also. I just found out she was molested by another girl in her house. I never found out until she told me a year later. It was disturbing to find out.
My son also has problems of his own. He has ADD and he's useless around the house. He needs special attention and a lot of structure that I could never provide. So I worry about him also. But the ADD can be a good thing. He's in his own world so what other kids are doing doesn't even register in his mind. He's very creative, but I can see a lot of dysfunction in him. I worry about him too because the school is very strict and next year I think things will be a whole lot harder on him.
If I had them again, the house would never be clean you can count on that, and I would have problems with going to doctor's appointments since I have no one to help me watch them and also there is no one who could take them if I have to go to the hospital.
Oh yeah btw the car was fixed thankfully it was nothing major but it still cost me 450$ It was a few minor things but add it up and that's what you get.
I'm very depressed about all this. I'm not sure how I can solve it since nothing I do would be a good option.
In any case. it does sound like you have made a good move by cutting ties with the toxic people in your life.
I'm so sorry and wish you well in this. Perhaps some parents here have better input than I. xxxxx
I'm not worried about that just yet so I will wait till next year and then worry about it. I can see how he might be right on the line. Some times he does OK it fluctuates from day to day I noticed.
As for my daughter I called her and spoke to her on the phone. I don't know but she tried to cover it up by saying that she meant running away from her emotions. But that doesn't make sense does it? Most people would just state that they are running away from their emotions not ask how their mother would feel about them running away. She may have been doing that since in a group house with lots of girls and house parents around she doesn't want to discuss it.
Still I think She understood me better and said that if she feels like she has a problem she will come to me first so we can talk and work things out. I feel better since talking to her.
I'm not as worried thankfully but I still want to have some sort of plan for the future if I would need to take them out of the school. Hopefully I don't.
So some of my worries have been worked out for now.
Thank you for the support.
zsa being a parent is hard, especially with a mental illness, but it is also worth it if you can make it. My major dysfunction is the cleaning and the two weeks of lack of energy. Also the lack of structure I can provide. Other wise I did a great job with them. I paid lots of attention to them, found things to do even though we were so poor, and we had such a blast. That's why our relationship is still great even though we are far apart.
So it depends on how far up or down you are on the function scale whether you should consider having children. I wasn't a big child person, but my own kids stole my heart.
My 12 year old is high functioning, goes to prep school, straight a mathematician.
My 8 year old still only speaks in 4-5 word sentences and needs help with personal care.
I do it on my own as my parents are elderly and their dad lives in another state.
Structure to autistic kids is a must or they meltdown with tantrums, so I must adhere to a strict schedule.
Not to mention all the school stuff, IEP meetings, prep school meetings etc. Whew.....
It can be done. Just one day at a time
Also, if the kids are old enough to clean, let them! ( or order them to!)
I have no support or help from my family. I have no one where I live and I'm a single mom. If I need hospitalized there is no one or program for them so I can go.
that is the problem I'm having.
And now that I'm cutting my father out of things I really have no one to help with car troubles. I will miss him but I want my kids to learn not to tolerate abuse not walk on egg shells like a dysfunctional family (alcoholic).
There's more but I don't feel like getting into it.
It's not urgent right now but I'm just starting to realize that it might be a good idea to have a plan in case I have to take them out of the school.
Mysavior I understand being separated from my children was really hard, but it wasn't a bad thing to do. The schools here are really awful and the residents are awful too. I live in the city and a violent and crime riddled one. I'd like to move but there are some complications with that.
Right now my daughter is doing so well grades wise. I'd hate to take her out of a good education and put her into a lousy one that dooms her future. I want her to have opportunities she wouldn't have if she lived with me in the city.
It's hard and it was a hard choice but I felt it was right, and now I'm starting to have my doubts, but if I need to take them back then I have to have a plan because right now my situation isn't a good one.
Maybe she isn't in any danger and maybe she is. (As to the state of her mind.)
Better safe than sorry.
Good luck with everything!!! That's a lot of rough stuff. (((((Hugs)))))