Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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StuckAtHome 05/31/2011

I'm having a very difficult day to say the least. I have a very serious urge to go sterilize a knife and cut the bejeepers out of myself. I know that I'll feel horrible if I do it and I'll have to cover it up for the next few weeks. I've been restraining myself but it's all I can think about right now. I hurt so much on the inside that I want to hurt on the outside, if that makes sense to anyone. Can someone please give me some kind of suggestion for distracting myself. I'm not in a good place right now. Thanks!

deleted_user 05/31/2011

I'm sorry, Stuck. :(

Can you do the rubber-band thingy? Does that help you at all?

What kinds of things Can you do today that are distracting? Family, or exercise, or tv, etc? What's set up in your life at this point to get you away from your thoughts?

deleted_user 05/31/2011

Stuckathome I understand thoses urges, the disappointment, the hiding, all over cutting. It is a viscious cycle that sometimes never seems to end. HOld on my friend, did you try watching a movie or listening to music? Something to occupy your brain. For me when I feel that way and I sit on here my mind gets more and more negative and I don't want that for you. I am sure you have heaerd of all the old tricks about the rubberband on the wrists, the ice on the hands but I am suggesting them again. Just keep that pretty little mind of yours busy and don't sit and dwell. You are a smart strong person you can do this.....

AntonyLauria 05/31/2011

In through the nose out through the nose

deleted_user 05/31/2011

Go to a bead store and pick out some lovely new beads to string all day and let them at the store sell you a clasp (if you don't know how) and make yourself a lovely new necklace.

StuckAtHome 05/31/2011

I pulled out the trusty rubber band. I'm leaving little welts on my arms now but I suppose that's better than cuts. I've got racing thoughts right now so distraction is hard. I tried music and it didn't help. TV never seems to work for me, my mind wanders. I'm hoping the rubber band will help at least cut down on the urge and make it more manageable. Thanks for being here for me guys. I feel like I'm at my breaking point today.

rubyblue 05/31/2011

when my racing thoughts get too extreme I take extra meds.. do you have anything that has been prescribed for such emergencies?

StuckAtHome 05/31/2011

I'm pregnant and off all meds right now rubyblue. :-( I've been using the rubber band and it helped some but I still have the urge to cut. Now I have that cruddy feeling where it seems like nothing around me is real. I feel disconnected from everything, even myself. I get to the point where my emotions overwhelm me and then I just kind of shut down, that's where I am right now. I don't understand how I can feel disconnected and still have that empty hole in my chest feeling, I wish I could make it go away.

rubyblue 05/31/2011

do you write/draw/paint? I used to SH a lot... and one of the ways I was able to grow out of it was to take a sheet of paper and just write and write and write.... or take a pencil and just draw anything (usually rubbish!).. for me I felt like the pen was the razor and the paper was my arm.. and I just went balistic on the paper instead of my arm - does that make any sense to you?

StuckAtHome 05/31/2011

Yes it does ruby and I love to draw and write poetry. I think I'll give that a try. Thank you for the suggestion. :-)

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