Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Well, I've been very depressed for more than a couple of weeks. Dangerously so, suicidal thoughts and desires, for well over a week. I hung onto the thought I'd see Pdoc today.
I give him my mood chart every visit. He taped them all together so the line graphs would line up, going back from today to two years ago! He showed me how overall I've improved. It's a *very* slow progression, but its there. It's hard because I've been treatment resistant and rapid cycling. He said It will continue to get better but I have to remember its going to take time. But the evidence is there.
He also said I work too hard at keeping my life as normal as possible when severely depressed. He said I beat myself up to get stuff done, or when I don't get stuff done, and end up burning myself out. He wants me to do is allow myself to take 3 or 4 days off to totally veg, do absolutely nothing except eat and sleep as much as I'd like (I guess he would include a shower in here somewhere :-) ). I rarely allow myself a 1 hr nap! Hubby went with me. Poc wants him to hide all the dangerous pain meds until I am well again. He said it wouldn't be a bad idea even when well to occasionally, every week or two to give myself a veg day. I'm too driven to beat this thing - I need to lighten up. No med changes.
His Rx: He's giving me a new plan to learn--be kind to myself, forgiving and accepting, allowing downtime. And don't be hesitant or ashamed to go to the hospital when I feel this bad. If I didn't promise to tell hubby when I don't think I can stop myself from a suicide attempt, Pdoc would have had hubby take me to the hospital. So the ball is in my court to take the pressure off myself, to not burn out, This should help the recovery process. He spent a whole hour with us. God bless him.
I give him my mood chart every visit. He taped them all together so the line graphs would line up, going back from today to two years ago! He showed me how overall I've improved. It's a *very* slow progression, but its there. It's hard because I've been treatment resistant and rapid cycling. He said It will continue to get better but I have to remember its going to take time. But the evidence is there.
He also said I work too hard at keeping my life as normal as possible when severely depressed. He said I beat myself up to get stuff done, or when I don't get stuff done, and end up burning myself out. He wants me to do is allow myself to take 3 or 4 days off to totally veg, do absolutely nothing except eat and sleep as much as I'd like (I guess he would include a shower in here somewhere :-) ). I rarely allow myself a 1 hr nap! Hubby went with me. Poc wants him to hide all the dangerous pain meds until I am well again. He said it wouldn't be a bad idea even when well to occasionally, every week or two to give myself a veg day. I'm too driven to beat this thing - I need to lighten up. No med changes.
His Rx: He's giving me a new plan to learn--be kind to myself, forgiving and accepting, allowing downtime. And don't be hesitant or ashamed to go to the hospital when I feel this bad. If I didn't promise to tell hubby when I don't think I can stop myself from a suicide attempt, Pdoc would have had hubby take me to the hospital. So the ball is in my court to take the pressure off myself, to not burn out, This should help the recovery process. He spent a whole hour with us. God bless him.
-
Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
Be sure to follow doctor's orders and allow yourself the time to 'veg!' I hope today's appointment will guide you out of the dark days and into the light. I am thinking of you and sending you warm, sincere thoughts to lead to positive days ahead.
Hang in there and take care,
Kat
Thanks for being there, listening and for the support.
Yes, I plan on keeping Pdoc as long as I possibly can. I'm hoping he's not planning on ever retiring :-) . That's a selfish thought, isn't it? He's 3 or 4 years younger than me and we're not young. We'll cross that bridge when it comes.
I'm more likely to have a pdoc telling me it's time to do something besides hide under the covers. I think slowing down should be easier than rising from inertia.
I'm glad you have an excellent pdoc and your husband's support
I remember taking my mood charts to my Pdoc, complaining how things weren't improving as quickly as I wanted them to.
Pdoc gently reminded me , dd ....you have a serious mental illness. It has gone untreated for years, we have a lot of work to catch up on.
Plus my Pdoc showed me a letter from my file , that my Pdoc had written to my Lawyer.
When I read the letter, and the prognosis , I was stunned .......reading that letter , written several years ago, it sounded like I was going to be nonfunctional for the rest of my life.
So yep, go slow and be grateful we are actually making progress !
And pumpkin, I don't know if it was your intention, but you made me smile.