FAITH, I know your pain. I have been there so many times. It has been 30 years for mme and I have to face my abuser often. I have severe flashbacks when i do. I know how frustrating it can be, especialy this time of year. facing our past can hurt so bad. Just know that I am here for you and if or when you want to or need to talk.

i hope you get to feeling better soon, just keep talking to us

I hope you are OK and feeling better. Please be gentle with yourself and don't push yourself through a process that may cause you to harm yourself.

I don't always agree with therapists that one should do these things if it brings up so much pain in a very vulnerable person. And it seems a bit much to do it during the holidays as tats69 mentioned.

I've thought of doing these letters, but honestly every time I started, it just upset me more and didn't seem to help that much. It just fed the negativity and made me remember more stuff and cling to it more. But then I'm not a therapist. It's just my personal experience.

If you do this, I hope she has a plan for helping you to release it and forgive.

I spent a lot of time angry and hurt at my past and my parents and honestly, it's just something that took a long time. I hope you can get through it and liberate yourself from it in a more timely fashion than I did.

Stuff still comes up for me as well, though I have learned how to handle it better and see myself as a separate person from my past that has a great capacity to heal and grow in spite an unhappy childhood that was abusive.

It also helps that my parents have changed over time as well and we get along as much as possible now. You may not have that advantage, but I've had to do some forgiving and considering what they went through in their family of origins as well and have some compassion for them too.

This is something I have come to see over the years as my own wisdom grew from all I have been through over the years with my own process.

Good luck to you. I know you can heal. Don't be hard on yourself for being angry or invalidating yourself. We had enough of that done to us already, right?

Acceptance is a good thing - of feelings especially.

I think it is unfair that your therapist would put this on you at this time of the year. Xmas can be a challenge for many people, and family issues can make that worse - after all, isn't Xmas about family and spending time with family? the reality is that this fantasy doesn't happen for some.

I really feel that your therapist should not force the letter shit on you. She should help you deal with your feelings about your family and then be there when YOU decide that you want to take this path.

Take care and may you find a moment of peace through the holiday season.

Merry Christmas.
I'm waiting for my family to get up. I finshied up bakeing stuff.
so here I set on Christmas morning saying a prayer for a wonderful person, ya, you.

I'm not sure if the following will make sence and/or be benifital.

Bare w me I'm I'm on 2nd cup of coffee and it normal takes 3 to 4 cups to get the wheels in my brain moveing,lol

will here it goes.

abuse will exspress itseld though other avn.'s in our lives and through out our lives.

When I'm out and about I c homeless, people loopy from drugs & alcohol and prosituts, woman giveing thier bodys away for a drink or cell phoone and help w rent...
This is what I actually c when I c such.
I c people that had been abused. I c people in an abuseive relationships,. all these wonderful sould haven't accepted acknowledge that they may or may not know of.
will I c such as not faceing thier pain, followed by dealing with thier anger. anger may be in form of self abuse.
Self abuse comes in many forms.

Remember anger is pickle that covers the beefy pain.

I love my Mother dearly and she amoung my dearest friend list.
It took me yrs to slow down and take a good look backwards and present.
I came to realize that I didn't hate my Mother. I hated how she must have been treayed when she was child ...
It was afew I shared my new found insight w my Mother. we brock the cycle.

All Mothers know that our babys will go throught so called right of passage stage where they say & insist that they hate us.
Oh the feeling feells justicefiable. but there is solution.
we need to get assistance,p-doc, therapy to get on right track of recovery.

Hang on. light does get brighter. the road along the way can be ruff but dust will settle.

Be easy on yourself. focuse on yourself not others. for get what others may or may not say or do. just focuse on your recovery.
Be kind to yourself.

pamper yourselff at least twice a mo.

I get my nails done and then I go fishing ( real fish n water ).

Aw, I wish we lived close together. you could come over & help me eat this freshly baked c-cake, I got spoons & ice cream and 2 recliners.

You are so on the right path to recovery.

PS.
when your ready, you may or maynot - might write a 1/2 page lets say once a wk.. while writeing stay fouse on what ever. with out letting mind carry on the trought that leads to other unpleaseents thoughts. that might be extense of thought that your writeing about.

I use to use tiny pc's of scrap paper to write down part of a thought.
I collected these thought in a folder. I dated ea pc of paper.
Example I would take pc's dated 12/25/10 and write my story from these pc's.
a wk latter I would repeat the process.
2 yrs later I re read what I had put together. I seen alot of pain and most of what I wrote wwas distorted. and/or fabicated in between the truth.

Merry Christmas.
we just might have white christmas after all.