The last few nights I have awakened in the middle of the night with a head full of thoughts. Some of it is jibberish, but much of it is dark. The night before last, I had to sit up and take some deep breaths to calm down. I was imagining that I was killing myself.

I've been relatively good about taking my meds although I miss a dose here or there. I've been doing very well for a long time, but I'm feeling pretty numb right now. I'm not crashing, but it's hard to explain. I am under a lot of stress at the moment and I will be moving this summer and returning to my old job. I'm happy about that, but I've got a house to sell and find another place to live, etc. There's plenty on my mind anyway, but this is very odd. I can't tell if it's just stress or if I'm beginning to go through an episode.