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In December my best friend and I got into a pretty big fight. For about 4 months since we still lived next to each other at school in the dorm I attempted to get our friendship back. I apologized to her, tried to do acts of kindness, etc. We eventually went out for coffee, then we even went on a day trip together. I realized that our friendship would probably never be to the same level, but I just couldn't see myself cutting her out of my life entirely.
Starting in April I decided to quit pursuing her and to allow her to make the decision for herself. It is now mid-September, and in that time she did send me a few short emails but nothing of substance. I always responded to them asking about how things were going with her, but rarely did she respond even though she initiated the contact.
I am at a loss as to what to do. Part of me is wanting to rekindle this friendship and send her an email now that time has elapsed with a genuine apology. I don't think she'll ever come to the place of realizing what she did wrong because we both made mistakes and I don't know if it's possible to have a friendship with someone who think the problem was 100% your fault.
I also went through a phase of wanting to delete her off of Facebook just because if she has absolutely no intentions of being my friend I don't want her to keep playing around - one day sending me a nice message and then never responding again. Part of me says continue to give it time. I believe I've forgiven her and I do realize my part in the problem, but I also want to move on with my life and not continued to be dragged down by what I feel are head games if she has no intentions of being my friend again. Suggestions?
Starting in April I decided to quit pursuing her and to allow her to make the decision for herself. It is now mid-September, and in that time she did send me a few short emails but nothing of substance. I always responded to them asking about how things were going with her, but rarely did she respond even though she initiated the contact.
I am at a loss as to what to do. Part of me is wanting to rekindle this friendship and send her an email now that time has elapsed with a genuine apology. I don't think she'll ever come to the place of realizing what she did wrong because we both made mistakes and I don't know if it's possible to have a friendship with someone who think the problem was 100% your fault.
I also went through a phase of wanting to delete her off of Facebook just because if she has absolutely no intentions of being my friend I don't want her to keep playing around - one day sending me a nice message and then never responding again. Part of me says continue to give it time. I believe I've forgiven her and I do realize my part in the problem, but I also want to move on with my life and not continued to be dragged down by what I feel are head games if she has no intentions of being my friend again. Suggestions?
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
Have you sat down with her and really talked about the problem? I think that is what you need to do. Apologize for your part in it and see what happens.
Sometimes people are in our lives for a while and then the time is over. You may just have to accept that it is over. No sense in beating yourself up over it. That will just make you miserable.
Your falling out was a long time ago. Time to meet for coffee, get caught up, and explain that you'd like your relationship to me at the level it used to be. If she says anything but, "I'd love that too" move on and chalk it up as a lessoned learned.
It sounds like you've agonized over this relationship long enough. Good luck!! I hope it works out for you.
If she doesn't, then you have a choice to make.
Do you want to remain 'acquaintances', which is pretty much what you are at the moment?
Or would you rather just end the relationship if there's no chance of it improving?
Whatever the two of you discuss, don't rehash the argument, LOL!!!
If you're going to have a serious talk with her, you might want to say that you're sorry that the fight occurred and wish that it hadn't damaged the relationship.
You wouldn't be saying she was at fault and you wouldn't be saying that you were, either.
Tell her you'd like it if both of you could just put the fight behind you.
And, yes. You run the risk that she may say that she may say she wants to end all ties, since the matter is up for discussion.
Good luck.
I hope you can work things out!!
Normally a friendship can survive some fights here and there but there are some things a friendship can never come back from. Like stealing each others boyfriends for one example. This is something that I have experience with unfortunately for me.
Other wise you may need to look for a new friend, one that won't let a little fight destroy every thing.
Friends sometimes only stay until we have served our purpose in each others lives.
good luck
it's hard, but let time do it's thing. it seems the ball is firmly in your friend's court.
It seems your going through growing pains - forcing a solution is where your stress comes from. Do the right thing and let both of you heal, relax and THEN see how it turns out (((((BIG HUG))))
Doing nothing is the hardest thing!!! But I swear by it! When you don't know what to DO - do nothing.... : )
If you're going to make amends.. I would let go of 'what she did wrong'.. Rehashing who is right won't help at all..
Time can be a great healer... Some things aren't meant to be..
I do hope your friendship will heal...x