yes, death of someone close..didn't help.

(was hospitalised for months & months afterwards, manic/mixed/psychotic)

How about with people who haven't passed on through death?

What do you mean exactly? I think I know what you are saying. Just not for sure?

I guess what I'm getting at are the triggers of abandonment and rejection.

With relationships in particular - when a close or intimate relationship comes to and end for whatever reasons, then the scenario or situation triggers the episode in a significant way.

yes, Lee - you are understood. Very well.

Thanks.

Just wanted to open up the discussion more on how these particular triggers change the way we think and feel about forming relationships and if it contributes to feeling social anxiety and so forth.

It's an area that is one of the greater challenges for myself, yet something I'd love to hear personal stories on, in how people have come to evolve with time in this area.

yes i understand completely...
ive hada couple of relationships that have left me severely depressed ...i suffered immense anxiety when dealing with peple in general.
ive also had a relationship breakdown that sent me hypomanic, or maybe i was hypomanic anyway.
romantic relationships with people impact my life immensely.
i have had some breakdowns in friendships..and i have always been able to deal with them...but being romantically involved with someone brings out my insecurities.
wish i could change this

oh GOD yes. it`s something that really sends me off into a spiral.
all sense of reasoning disappears and it`s literally like i have no coping mechanisms at all :(

I know what everyone means here. Past experiences have left me very social phobic. I seem to get very hypo in the middle the very depressed at the end. Don't know how much of it is normal, how much is bipolar, and how much is borderline.

there is something in the DSMV about bipolar people having issues with "rejection" (although I would think that nobody has a fun time with rejection) - which is a sort of an equivalent to the Borderline's abandonment issues.

Other than getting depressed when relationships are tanking I've not really had it. Yes, death of a partner did trigger me big time into my worst hypomania but then that is so traumatic it's not really so much a relationship thing.

thats interesting because i have read alot about abandonement issues in borderlines..and found myself wondering if this explained the problems i have had in the past...
but rejection explains it perfectly ....that is definately someting i find very hard to deal with.
i will cause problems that can ultimately lead to my being rejected.
the barriers come up...
weird

Personally, it can be kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy for me.

It's almost because it's learned behaviour, that it feels like this is the way it's suppose to be every time in a romantic relationship for example. It takes a lot of reassurance and trust to be established early on, then when the natural difficulties do arise there can sometimes be that automatic sabotage of the relationship in subtle or obvious ways, as if going through the motions to the inevitable conclusion. Granted I've worked hard on this, yet there's still much work to be done left.

It gets disheartening when you just want to settle down in a long-term relationship with someone or just be able to maintain close friendships without thinking of things like commitment. Feeling any kind of bond without the buttons being pushed.

I have had it with death.. I think therapy can be a big help with that Lee.. coping skills etc..xx

OK -- I have been triggered by a miscarriage which to me was the loss of a highly desired child.

I have also been triggered by a fear that my marriage would not work when I first got married.