If you exercise a little each day, Zany....you may get this little help. It does get better. You have to find a pocket for your memories so they don't take-over unless you invite them too.
I know..that full exhale that happens.
You are not alone.
You also have chocolate pudding.

X

Thanks for talking to me. You are even more wonderful in person, than on IM.

Here are a few quotes from Chelle herself:

"Never Surrender" and "Never Die"

Amen

That's right!! Never surrender!! I AM NOT A QUITTER!! I CAN DO THIS!! I will be a new me..........better...........stronger.............faster!!!!! Wait a minute!! Where have I heard that before?? ;)

A lot of people, if not everyone has that negative dialogue going on in their minds that is not easy to ignore and we let ourselves say such terrible things about ourselves that if anyone else dared say about us we would be devastated. SO just remember that those voices in your mind that say bad things about you are not real, temporary, and YOU can take life by the reins and be in control instead of those negative thoughts. Don't believe those bad things you are saying about yourself. They aren't true. Love yourself. Know you are good and you can be and ARE good in the world.

i rather prefer the days where i was a clueless wonder that believed my beliefs were real.

i think the finding out it is all wrong is what hurt. even now that others can point out the "wrong" it sucks. i was always right. i was logical dammit

we can take a high road. hold on to the belief that we suffer and yet are a special kind. we will know things and see things like none other.

cant be a shell when we hold so much in one vessel.

Im so glad this proceeded hearing ya roar girlfriend.. smile..
I reflect back on the invincible me as well sometimes.. but I also wonder if that isnt a delusion lol
YOU are the best Chelle.. you offer so much of yourself to others in so many ways everyday...the person you were has changed and grown in to a very special lady with so much kindness and insight due to your life experience...even the most terrible experiences can be used eventually for a greater good... your goodness is never ending sweetie...
Bless you
Jan

I've had BP all my adult life so don't really know anything else. Before being dx I spent most of my teen years suffering with problems with my mental health. To me the 'old me' is a bratty teenager that wants her own way

i feel more like i have been hit in the back of the head by a 2 x 4 by mental illness.

first the mental shit, then the cervical stenosis, then the heart issues, now either ms or mini strokes(the last 3 all in the course of 11 months). if i wasn't so medicated i don't know how i would feel. thank dog i am numb.

maybe mental illness is a good thing?

I'm also one of those that has never known "normal" before mental illness struck but recently I have suffered from physical issues and remember how "normal" felt for my body. In a way I can relate one to the other. Although you may not be the same anymore it doesn't make you bad or broken, just different. You can adapt and change to make the best of any situation. You are a beautiful person Chelle, you can pull through and come out even stronger on the other end. I have faith in your resilience. All the challenges and adversity life throws at us give us an opportunity to become stronger. I know it's hard Chelle, if I could wave a magic wand and clear a path for you I would. I hope things get easier and better for you soon. ((big hugs)) -Crystal

:hugs: I know - I go into that thinking and am just like what? o_0 :-( I could function rather well without meds and work and do just so much.. I may have shown signs of BP off and on at the time, but I don't think I was actually BP? Now - well hold it up..

Anyways - this is the thing, We cannot change it. Really. There really isn't a point in actually going "there" because it is just that - we cannot change any of it and honestly it will just bring us down.

But yea I understand.

:hugs:

Chelle, I'm sorry you miss the old you. I have had mental health issues since I was a teen so I really do not remember the "old" me. I do miss the piece of me that was able to work full-time.