Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I can't decide if I should tell my pdoc that I feel that I might need to go to the hospital. This is why:
1. I don't know if I need a safe place or not. Sometimes I am fighting and I can rally, and sometimes I go to a really dark place that only a ton of sleep and Klonopin can pull me out of.
2. I am afraid that going to the hospital will be my excuse for screwing up the past week so badly. Like "hey, don't blame me, look at how sick I was."
3. I am also afraid that I am just trying to escape responsibilities that I should be attending to.
To give you guys some background, this week was the first week of classes. For various reasons, school is a trigger for me, so I made it to my first class but had three panic attacks after. I had to pick up a prescription at my pdoc's office where I promptly lost it on the receptionist and told her how bad things were. She told my pdoc who called me on her lunch to ask me how I was. She asked me if she should worry about me and I lied and said no. Thing is, I told her I'd be okay, so I kind of have to be until I see her again. I DID end up in ER on Thursday night however, with another massive panic attack where I was shaking uncontrollably and throwing up and almost passed out. They gave me Ativan and sent me home after I promised not to OD on it. Of course, in my darker moments, it's an idea, but I made a promise and plus, I don't want to get into a situation where my doctors are hesitant to give me medications.
So I'm keeping my promise to my pdoc until Tuesday, and then I don't know what to do. Should I just let her tell me what she thinks (she is an AMAZING pdoc)? I don't know how to make this decision.
I'm sorry if this is too long or if I sound really whiny. I'm just not quite sure what to do..
1. I don't know if I need a safe place or not. Sometimes I am fighting and I can rally, and sometimes I go to a really dark place that only a ton of sleep and Klonopin can pull me out of.
2. I am afraid that going to the hospital will be my excuse for screwing up the past week so badly. Like "hey, don't blame me, look at how sick I was."
3. I am also afraid that I am just trying to escape responsibilities that I should be attending to.
To give you guys some background, this week was the first week of classes. For various reasons, school is a trigger for me, so I made it to my first class but had three panic attacks after. I had to pick up a prescription at my pdoc's office where I promptly lost it on the receptionist and told her how bad things were. She told my pdoc who called me on her lunch to ask me how I was. She asked me if she should worry about me and I lied and said no. Thing is, I told her I'd be okay, so I kind of have to be until I see her again. I DID end up in ER on Thursday night however, with another massive panic attack where I was shaking uncontrollably and throwing up and almost passed out. They gave me Ativan and sent me home after I promised not to OD on it. Of course, in my darker moments, it's an idea, but I made a promise and plus, I don't want to get into a situation where my doctors are hesitant to give me medications.
So I'm keeping my promise to my pdoc until Tuesday, and then I don't know what to do. Should I just let her tell me what she thinks (she is an AMAZING pdoc)? I don't know how to make this decision.
I'm sorry if this is too long or if I sound really whiny. I'm just not quite sure what to do..
I vote no.
Maybe an outpatient version?
They never helped me, just sent me a several thousand dollar co-pay (that I never pay anyway) LOL
Your have to have a roomate who knows what the fuck is wrong with them and they treat you like a prisoner.
I found the structure and interaction in group therapy, plus working with the social workers when I went to the hospital extremely helpful. I was suicidal prior to admission.