I'm so tired of feeling so incredibly good, and then so incredibly bad. Some days/nights I'm on top of the moon, happier than I've ever been, but other days/nights I feel this darkness inside of me, this overwhelming sadness and it's hard to fight it off. I have had problems with depression for years, since I was 10-11 and I'm now 20, turning 21 this year. I know to say that I was depressed at such a young age seems unlikely, I was probably just sad, but at that age I was going through so much and my the time I was 12.. well, I can't count how many times I attempted to take my own life. Bipolar disorder is trying to control me, and I'm trying to prevent that from happening. I'm an alcoholic as well, and when I start to feel down, the first thing on my mind is alcohol. This disorder causes me to feel so incredibly amazing when things are going well, but as soon as there's even a hint of something negative I can feel it all start to crumble around me as I start to spiral into the darkness.. It's so tiring.. Does anyone else feel this way too?