Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Thinking of Quitting Therapy

LoddyAoddylo
LoddyAoddylo
...because I canceled my appointment with my tdoc last Tuesday,because my sister Renee and I had a lunch date for right after the session,and I was afraid I'd cry and then have to meet Renee with a sad,red and swollen face.As it turned out,Renee was having a bad day too but pulled herself together,and the two of us had a great time.Afterward,I forgot all about crying.
I had an opportunity to see Ken today,but I turned it down because I've been having thoughts of self-harm,and I didn't want to lie and say everything is fine when it isn't,or tell him the truth and get thrown into the hospital.
I was thinking all of this last night,but today was an "up" day and I didn't have any thoughts of self-harm all day.
I was going to say I preferred an appointment with someone who's known me all my life and loves me,to a session with a virtual stranger who's being paid to listen to me,but the simple fact is that I had to hide my feelings from Renee and she hid hers from me,and that's kind of sad when you think about it,even though we did have a good time together.And it's clear,from what I've shared with all of you,that the people who love me don't "get" me and Ken does.
When they ask if you've been having suicidal thoughts,is it OK to say "I was having them yesterday but not today"?
sadiegirl13
sadiegirl13
I've had thoughts of quitting therapy too. I actually made moves to this winter, and then I completely crashed and burned and ended up needing therapy more often. It's ok to say whatever you need to in therapy, but don't lie too much about self-harm thoughts. For me, I assess how much of a danger I really may be to myself. Then I can say, "hey, I have these thoughts, but I'm not likely to act on them" or "I'm scared bc I really feel like I will act on them sometimes" and we go from there. It really depends on how much your therapist is willing to work with you vs sending you to the hospital... Which prob depends on his style and your history...
tommymott
tommymott
I've always told them that sure I have thoughts, but no actions. And I've never met a therapist I couldn't do without. As I recently read, everything we need is within us and I agree with that.
Niccid
Niccid
I think from what you wrote in your post you understand why therapy is different from talking to family/friends. If you know it helps then great, but if you need a break that's great too. I wish you the best!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I'm glad you aren't stopping your therapy Loddy... For sure be honest with him... You can tell him you've had thoughts of self harm but don't plan to act on them and if you ever are making plans that's when you need more help sweetie... That's when we all do... Having thoughts won't get you thrown into the hospital unless they're really extreme .. I have thoughts fairly often I think it's the nature of the beast that we deal with
LoddyAoddylo
LoddyAoddylo
Thank you all for your feedback.I just did a little test...called Ken on his cell and thought,If he answers,I'll continue with therapy,and if I get a recording,I'll quit. I got a recording.Something happened here tonight that upset me...one of the other residents,who is schizophrenic,started getting "personal" with me and because I was afraid of "Arlene",the caregiver (and I use the term loosely),I went to my room (we'd both been in the living room).Arlene basically bragged that she could handle "Daisy" while I couldn't.
I just asked myself,why am I afraid of a woman (Arlene) who brags about being a witch (spell that with a "b").She didn't say that tonight but has said it to me before.
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
I understand the feeling of wanting to end therapy. For me lately, I just check in once a month. If things get tough, I increase my sessions. When I feel I'm ready I feel good about checking in once every few months. I just like that check-in with a mental health professional because it is someone who has known me for awhile.
I agree with the others...it's good to be honest about the thoughts, but be also be honest about the severity of them when needed.
Niccid
Niccid
Sunny you sound like me. :)
KatLin
KatLin
I am sorry your struggling with a decision to keep going or stop therapy. It is not easy. I had to make changes in my treatment team the last few years due to changes in our providers closings and being on waiting lists i had to make things happen for myself.............

I am lucky i have a pdoc and a tdoc who know the difference in self harm and suicidal and the difference in wanting to die and wanting to commit suicide............That was important to me .......i had to many who did not know the difference and threw me in the phospital way to often. so i have lived your nightmare i get it. I hope for you someday though you get that someone like i have who you can say hey i don't feel great and the world could swallow me up and it would not matter .....today.........and they would get it. I don't think we deserve to be punished for them.

However when i was young.....well and not so young here many of my team was with me on and off most of my life till 3 yrs ago when the ctr closed .....she said "if you just don't want to go to treatment that's the day you need to go the most'
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
You can also take a break for a while perhaps without completely severing ties with your therapist perhaps?
Precious97
Precious97
Therapy has gotten so hard on me that I too have considered quitting so I know how you feel. I'd just take a break not quit entirely. If you really need it don't just quit. If you have too many differences with your tdoc see about getting a new one. If it's no longer productive then yeah, quit. That's something only you can know. For me. If I quit altogether where I'm at I'll be doing more harm than good and I'll be putting my health, and maybe even my life, in jeopardy.
SplitScreen
SplitScreen
I agree with some of the others. Therapy has saved me so many times. But if you need a break, take one and that way you can at least give it more thought before stopping entirely.
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