Maybe you shouldn't let things get bottled up inside you. If you take care of things as soon as they happen, perhaps you could express them without doing it in the cruelest way possible. Who says you have to use brutally raw terms?
Maybe you could use less threatening words when telling people that they're hurting you. Then you'd probably have more of a chance of them not getting angry and defensive themselves.
I hope you find a way that works for you!!! When done correctly, venting should leave you feeling better, not more irritated!!! (((((Hugs)))))

I think venting is for getting things out of your system and not to be done to the person who has hurt you if you want to repair the relationship.

Like you said, venting at someone who hurt you only makes them defensive and they attack you back to defend themselves.

I think venting should be done someplace else, in your journal, on here, to a good friend or therapist. Get all the bottled up feelings safely expressed.

If you want to clear the air in the relationship it needs to be done gently using assertiveness skills and very much emphasis on how you would like them to be with you in the future and how much the relationship means to you.

Once voices are raised then the healing moment has passed.

If you want to end the relationship then by all means yell and scream at them about how horrible they were and how much they hurt you. Don't expect them to stick around for more of that.

You both make good points. Perhaps I should have added I am extremely socially inept, or maybe that was apparent.
All I know is I am hurt about a lot of things and wish it would all get out of my head.

I don't know about you being socially inept heretic.

I can be very cruel, cutting and verbally aggressive when manic. Use very violent imagery. Upset people greatly. I am horrible.

When I was first hospitalised for mania, very old feelings from childhood came flooding back and it was like they were real right then. My parents visited me in the hospital and it was they who had alerted the mental health authorities to go to my house and detain me. The police got involved as I refused to leave my house under the doctors orders. They broke in and handcuffed and dragged me into a police car in front of all my neighbours and took me to hospital against my will.

Apparently I was screaming at my parents in the visiting room how much I hated them. I have absolutely no memory of it. I don't know exactly what I said but I do know they were very hurt and very worried.

I don't think that venting helped our relationship at all. Except make them very fearful of the first sign of mania in me.

Have you ever felt like apologising to any of these people heretic? Or do they need to apologise and make amends for what they did first.

I think venting is always a positive thing as long as there are no accusations involved. "I" statements work great...such as "I cannot handle that" rather than "you are doing something I cannot handle". I know it's a subtle difference but a big one in the end.

I firmly believe that leaving grudges build up inside is NOT the way to go. It only makes them come out much harsher at a later time when you don't have the control you would normally have. Like Carla said :-)

oh moltengold, it's been all different ways, some people that I have apologized too are still my friends - as they have apologized to me as well. I'm sure there could be more apologizing done on both sides but we all seem to be ok for now.
Then there are other people who I have cut out of my life for what they did, and people who have cut me off for what I have done. So it's a variety of scenarios. I guess life is just a big f*kn learning curve.

I vent in my journal. Either the one at DS, or my private hand written one. It just helps me to know I care.

Seriously, it is good to track venting just don't hurt people along the way.

Venting is very theraputic for us. It helps if you write things down also. That is like double venting because you can write any feelings and know no one will see how much you want to kill someone.

Then prayer and mediation seals the deal. I do it at night because I get screwey all day long.