Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
The hardest part for me is the social stigma.
I can eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, keep all of my doc appts, never forget to take medication. I maintain a stress-free homelife.
But there is just no way to "manage" people who think having Bipolar is scary. Well, I guess it is scary in a way, but it's sad that people are scared of what I might do since I have this disorder. I guess I can't blame them, people with BP do behave differently than people who don't have this illness. But then, I've seen plenty of crazy people who didn't have BP..... just rambling now
I can eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, keep all of my doc appts, never forget to take medication. I maintain a stress-free homelife.
But there is just no way to "manage" people who think having Bipolar is scary. Well, I guess it is scary in a way, but it's sad that people are scared of what I might do since I have this disorder. I guess I can't blame them, people with BP do behave differently than people who don't have this illness. But then, I've seen plenty of crazy people who didn't have BP..... just rambling now
If I'd continued to work there, a whole bunch of idiots would have 'not liked' me one hell of a lot more than they than they could ever imagine possible to 'not like' someone!
Those who haven't seen me in my manic state don't even believe I have bp and expect me to be like everyone else. But I'm not. I am impatient, edgy at times, don't handle stress well and have racing thoughts a lot of the times. And this is me medicated.
The stigma in the media is horrible. I listen to a talk radio show where a well known and respected therapist answers listener's calls and each time there is mention of bp, he goes crazy. He advises those who are dating a bp to end the relationship and definately never have kids. It's really sad.
For me the worst part about having BP is the insecurity I have now that I acquired these past 5... 6 years due to episodes of mania, depression, and psychosis. I have humiliated myself so many times. I feel awful for when I was so promiscuous. I am ashamed to show my face at a local bar because I'm afraid I'll either see someone I know from high school or someone that I slept with and he is a total loser or someone that .... I don't know I met when I was doing drugs. I am so ashamed and insecure and it started with my diagnosis.
Shame and insecurity for me.
This happens every single day and is amplified as all of you know, when my period hits.
The stigma now affects my actual physical health. There are times now when I am so tired that I can no longer afford to think about what others think of me. I get so filled with fluid or I get so tired, or I get almost to hyperventilating (which, on a high pressure Wednesday almost happened AGAIN this week, that I cannot afford to be stupid and allow the morons to get me.
It has literally come down to the literal wire-and I used that word twice on purpose. Literally, I have to not care what the morons think because if I do, I will get sicker or I will commit suicide.
Last night, I was with my sister because as you know, our water is out at the house. She expressed some concern over Cathleen my daughter living with me because Cathleen is a drama queen.
The stupidities of the normal population has begun to strip me bare. I have begun to surrender to life--to times when water is scarce, to times when groceries cannot be bought--to the stigma of the bullshit that the normals put on. And, when they ARE nice to me, I am always shocked. They are just nice enough--they think that friendship is unwarranted as long as they are "nice" and charitable--to hand me a bone.
Right now, I have surrendered to the bullshit out of mere survival. I am not sure of what new approach might be necessary. I would love nothing more to be hostile and like a junk yard dog with the lot of them. The Trileptal actually brings out the real me--which is like any other "Stead" (maiden name) on the planet--intellectual, witty and dry in humor (only not as intelligent as the average Stead of 140/150/160) but yea--stigma sucks and as we climb towards 2012 and the epidemics or natural disasters or changing to global currency or becoming Greece or becoming Ireland or whatever--you know the economic crashes--the normals will reach out--and find that they have no one and realize that all of their social bullshit is bullshit and they will be left on the precipice, and they will fall.
I consider myself lucky to have a full belly and a job where I sit down, but I have no idea what tommorrow brings. Pardon my language and unChristian attitude, but fuck the normals. Their day is coming--not that I want to see it but you know their minds get so small--I hate it and do not wish this on my worst enemy, but yes,
thier day--is coming--as is ours, but at least we knew what to value and what to cherish.
I do not care how many children I have had or not have had.
I do not care if I have dated of whom I have dated.
My consumer friends have most of the time shown themselves a better friend than a normal. All of my natural friends offline are border mentally ill or eccentric or fully mentlly ill high functioning and I would not trade them for anyone.
I am not a eugenic mistake. I am a person. I have a disability which does affect my emotions. Okay-well God found me a great job where I can harm no one and where my verbal and linguistic skills flourish.
An enlightened society that is not eugenic might realize that peopel with handicaps can do well when one uses creativity and positive thinking. Okay, so you can't teach kids--teach adults. For Gods sake--why don't we just have the Holocaust again?!!
To all normals I say NO I WILL NOT GO INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
I CAN PRETEND TO THE ONES WHO ARE OBSESSED OVER GOODY GOODINESS.
I CAN BE POLITE.
I CAN HIDE ASPECTS AND REPRESS MY ORIENTATION.
I CAN AMPLIFY THE OTHER SIDE OF MY ORIENTATION TO CONFORM BETTER
I CAN PLAY MOMMY.
BUT IF THE BALLS HIT THE BONE, BY GOD THERE COMES A TIME WHEN IF THEY CONTINUE THEIR STIGMA
I
WILL
CALL THEM
ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!
I WILL CALL THEM ON IT!!!!!!!!!! ;-c
I have good genetics apart from the ADHD and the Bipolar. We have overcome so much in my family.
Had mom listened to the morons at school that Christopher my brother was a moron, my brother Christopher would have not been speaking fluent Chinese today and be making good money as an Online English Instructor for Ole Miss.
Had my sister Meredith bought into the "You are a nerd and a weirdo" line at school, she would have never ballroomed or have been offered (but did not take) an offer to appear on Dancing with the Stars (she used to ballroom).
Had Robin or Chris bought into the "You are just an addict; addicts never change philosophy, they would not have had beautiful children who are gifted and capable.
No. No. No. I will never be ashamed of who I am.
Had Mr. and Mrs. Riles never had Liz who IS A BIPOLAR TEACHER hundreds of students wouldn't be changed by her caring attitude.
OKAY THEN. I AM PROUD TO BE WHO I AM AND I COULD CARE LESS IF I HAVE BIPOLAR!