I think about having children all the time, and if I would be able to do it. I think I'm more scared of having to go off all my meds during pregnancy, than actually raising a child. My whole life I've wanted to be a mother, and now I'm second guessing myself. The chance of having post partum psychosis is high in bipolar patients and that scares me to death. I know once I had the child, I'd be able to go back on my meds....but the lack of sleep in caring for a newborn also causes me concern.

I would like to be a Dad and feel obliged to be one, however I have a tendency to give Women the creeps. In School I was sexually frustrated; after being abused at the age of 6 and coming to terms with my Father's Murder in the 'Troubles'; and found myself creeping on the younger girls at School.

Whilst on the outside I appeared respectable, inside I was a sick deprived puppy. Some of my fantasies at 16/17 were macabre.

When I have Children, I would bring them up completely different from how I was brought up.

I've given up that dream because I now know I can't go off meds. Ever. My pdoc gave me hope it was possible but I just can't do it. It's a really troublesome thing to come to terms with, but I'm working on it.

I think if I could get into teaching somehow, I might feel better.

Well it's great to know we all have a list of things we don't want to do or things we'll do differently. I think for those who still want kids that's the way forward, right?

I think when you are bipolar the issue of family and friends is very important Do you have people you trust who could take care of your child should you need? Are there issues in your family or your partner's that would prevent you from trusting your child in their care?

A lot of us know we are not going to raise our child like we were raised. However, in moments of stress, the first response may be the one we hated. Therapy and insight may be needed to be the parent you want to be.

When my daughter was a toddler and she fell and scraped her knee and cried, I would be angry. Why? Because that's what I experienced from siblings who would say "Quit crying, quit being a baby, you're not hurt, get up." And they got that lack of nurturing from my parents.

I knew that anger was a irrational response and I got over it and acted like parents I saw who kissed boo boos and put on bandaids.

I know I would have that support system. In my family no one person raises a child. We get dumped on our aunts, cousins and grandparents so often they become our second parents so I know as long as I need them they will be there and the ones I'm closest to know about my condition. Hmmm, now I'm thinking about who to appoint legal guardian. Lol. My brain and its wheels.

I to have concerns about having children. I go back and fourth alot with it. I am not in a reltaionship now. I hold babies at a hospital and they just melt my heart and i enjoy holding them even when they cry. Iti s overwhelming though esp if they are screaming. I get worried about how i handle stress because it is not good. I worry about not being on meds. I am sure i will figure it out.

Sunny, that was an amazing speech. I hope you get to have kids and I wish you all the best. You're right. Normies have issues too and if they can make it through the least we can do is try.

I "thankfully" decided not to have children when I was in my teens.
I don't have the mom gene either and frankly kids bore me to tears. I don't even have friends that have kids.
We're all different...and we can chose the life we want. Don't beat yourself up over it. There are millions of non-moms out there.
It's a choice, that's all it is.. Has nothing to do with your worth as a person.

Dobie you always say the right things!

I too decided at a young age that I did not want to have kids. I don't know how I would have taken care of them during some of my depressions let alone the manias!

It is a personal choice! I have felt judged all of my adult life by other "Women" because I didn't have kids....I'd rather not have kids than be a bad mother!

Don't feel judged by "moms" MayB! I actually (this is bad to admit) feel superior to them because I have a life, travel exp., knowledge, friends in foreign countries, tremendous life experience, lots of stuff that moms don't have. Screw them.
It's our generation that is the first to have a choice to have or not have children. Because of THE PILL!! So there are those of us that took advantage of that fact and the others just followed the norm, not even realizing they had a choice (well, most of them).

I agree MayB, I'd rather not be a mum thann to be a bad one. Incidentally I'm watching Little Women: L.A and Elena is talking about having a child and how likely it'd be for the child to have her condition. Hmmm

I would lose it if I had a child and she/he had Bipolar. I don't know how I would handle it.
My husband (BP1) has a son and daughter. We are constantly watching them to see if they have any Bipolar signs. So far, so good.

I have bipolar. My wife wants to have kids. I dont really think twice about it. ive always had health problems. If we cant have kids now. Im the only baby she needs lol.

Well, if you don't feel you have the what you called the "mum gene" than it doesn't matter if you have bipolar or not. Many women don't have that need or want to have kids, I respect anyone that can honesty say that and make a choice not to have kids.

It's not for everyone and you don't owe anyone an explanation. Period.

I personally have children and I am a really good Mom. That doesn't mean it has been easy but my children come first and I refuse to let this disorder rob me of a good life. I was diagnosed after I had children and I don't know if I knew before marriage and kids etc what I would have chosen. Some days when I'm feeling off I doubt everything I have chosen to do but at the end of the day I'm glad with my choice and all I can do is pray they don't end up dealing with this disorder .

There is so much more to being a mom than pushing out a child and I know some so called "normal" moms that just suck as people and even more so as Moms.

idk- my experience has been a good one and I put in some serious foot work into keeping myself in check. It is my responsibility to do right by them always!

Honor your feelings and be true to yourself. Nobody should have children to fill some warped sense of obligation put upon them by idiots thinking their choices are to be used as a guideline by everyone else.

Anyway now I'm ranting... sorry.