I could call him a fuckwit...but then I'd have to explain why he's a fuckwit....and that means criticizing his understanding of BP.

Criticism leads to debates and he's like a lawyer. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin to debate with him.

Hanna, ignorance is bliss...why on earth would a sane person "really" want to understand something as screwed up as BP. I am pulling for you...you will be in my thoughts. peace

my move into my new home a year ago lifted the deprssion from me for a few months but l think l was running on adrelalin plus l got away from a nightmare landlord and court case.

lts so much lighter here, having more sun and a garden helps a little but l've crashed back into my old way of feeling now most days have a touch of depression around them....

So do you think that the situation can improve for you ?

There's plenty of ways that a person that is non-BP reaches a conclusion that a true understanding is beyond them.
If they don't , then I tend to just ignore them.Cos it's not that I depend on them either. The ones I care for and who love me, they know enough.Thry ' get' it or get my ire.
It depends upon what they have witnessed too.

I don't think just reading about it or seeing some programme has to be important. Having a heart is enough.

His acceptance is all that is needed. He just needs to accept that this illness is beyond his understanding and beyond his control.

I'm gonna write that down actually. I'll have a talk with him someday soon about it I'm sure.

He's witnessed lots of depression and mania with me, so it shouldn't come as a surprise anymore, but it still does everytime. Kind of reminds me of a toddler who hasn't quite figured out that if you touch something hot, it burns.

He may know more than you think.
You dunno yet until you really converse and ask him to not shy away from expressing what he thinks.In a more open rather than terse way. If this was a vent, I'm sorry. I am shit at understanding the use of vents x

My hubby is only too willing to say that he doesn't understand one thing about bipolar. He just accepts me as I am and deals with each day and each mood as it is thrown at him. He's a keeper!! ;-)

Hi Hannahana,

It was difficult for me when my ex and I moved. It was supposed to be a good thing. The reason we moved was because of work and for her to be closer to her family.

But what we had in the beginning was like a fairytale for her, and in was great times for me. But then it was a settling in phase and both of us were coming down to a reality.

It can be harsh for all of us, not just for people who suffer from bipolar disorder.

We ended up splitting a couple of years later because I accepted a transfer to another state which was closer to my family.

It was full of great career prospects and and a good package. When I turned around and asked her if she was going to come with me, she replied "I don't know". I said "If you don't know, then you are better off with your family and it means no to me".

She knew I had bipolar disorder and I was covering it from work, but I was hiding it from her family also. I think thats where the down fall was. When you start to hide facts you start to hold back certain information. In the end, it causes a breakdown in communication.

These "saner" comments are offending me. Would you like to be discrimiated against, because thats what these comments are.

It wasn't the illness that tore us apart. It was the lack of communication between us.

Please try to visualise what you have already overcome to get to this stage in your relationship. Don't let it go, don't make the mistakes I made with my ex.

She saw me off at the airport and we kept in contact until we sold the house and now she has broken off all communication from me.

When we moved I had a major episode of mania, then crashed into depression. Even good stress is STRESS.

I totally agree with you. My hubby bought me an expensive exotic parrot telling me he bought it because he thought it would keep me from getting depressed. When the bird didn't "fix me" he couldn't understand. I have to admit tho, the bird is nice company when I'm alone.

I think men feel helpless when they can't fix something... especially thier wives.

I am one of the most sensitive men you will ever meet(you just have to take my word for it) If we are in a relationship with either a man or woman(or farm animal in some situations) It takes mutual respect and a deep commitment to grow as people. We are not at the mercy of our illness because the illness is to big for us, We are at the mercy of our ignorance about our illness, relationships, and support groups.

No Oz, this isn't just a vent. I'm appreciative of everything everyone is saying to me.

I wish my fiance would just accept this illness, but he still gets too wound up and angry from my mood swings. He's not learned yet to just go with the flow.

Perx...you're offended by me calling someone without a mental illness a saner? It is discriminative and that's it's intended purpose. If I am to be labeled by my illness, then they can be labeled by their lackthereof.

I'll give you that our communication isn't the greatest, but that's due to his lack of understanding and unwillingness to accept. Total saner.

Thank you all for your replies! xx