i used to think about suicide 24/7 but now i hardly ever think about it just try and keep yourself busy so u don't think about it

I think about it alot. But I know I couldn't do it myself. It's caused me to take some really fucked up risks I wouldn't have otherwise taken. But I think I know what you're saying.

Suicide is in my mind every day but I am stuck in catch 22 because I know I could never actually go through with it. A real no win situation. I hope you do have a different attitude tomorrow.

Suicidal Ideation - Taking our lives seems like the only option sometimes - the pain can be so great.
It's at better times that I can remember how I can't control those thoughts and am reminded that I have a chemical imbalance.
Last time I had to go to the ER in August, within a few days of taking Lithium, no matter how much I tried, I could not think of it.
Was an amazing eye-opening experience my friend.
Try and remember it is the chemicals in your brain that is the problem...you need to have them adjusted.
Take care and please reach out to a Pdoc or someone who can help with meds.
Hugs!

I dont' think of suicide much. But there was a time, when I was really ill, I was just getting these intrusive thoughts about doing it. I knew I didn't want to do it, but these thoughts really scared me, coz I really thought I might end up doing it anyway. I got help right away.

I think about it daily. I know and have warned those who care about me that when I die someday, who knows when, it will be by my own hand. It's bound to happen to me I just know I cannot control the urge forever. Sorry I don't have a cheerier comment just how I feel.

its ok woe , i'd take honesty over false cheer anyday and thanks everyone.

I think about it all the time.

Not only did I think abut it continually I also tried too many times...At the time my view was one more thing that I had failed at...
Now I rarely think about it I have alot to look forward too...I enjoy facing another day, I enjoy seeing my children grow, enjoy what this silly illiness has to offer even though it is not always good...But I try and generally succeed at taking it all in my stride...When I get down I just pick myself up and carry on...
To cherry for some, to happy for others and no its not all about positive thinking...It has alot to do with dealing with demons inner thoughs and accepting that even those that appear to have it all and look perfect arent...
Life with BP what a ride...

exactly the thoughts you have , i have had them....but heres the thing...they DO go away...get out of that moment...please be telling your dr. about this...just breathe, and talk on here...it will pass

I think alot of us feel like you do, its the depression taking over. It's really tricky sometimes to fool yourself into thinking everything is ok. I have a bunch of different type of things I try to do to combat the depression. Sometimes I try only 1 thing, sometimes I try bunches of them. Just depends on the swing.
Take a long hot bubble bath and whatever you do don't go to the suicide sites and read about how to kill yourself the easiest way. Stay away from those sites.
Put on some calming music then take sleep meds and lay down and sleep a long time.
Paint, and force myself to use bright colors rather than blue, black brown, gray and purple
Write poetry or just write whatever comes to my mind at the time, to get all the bad feelings out.
Watch funny movies, or comedians
Look in the mirror, smile at myself and tell myself over and over that this depression will go away, that I need to be patient.
Get on DS and post to my friends for support.
Pet my dog and other animals
Call or email a friend
Go outside, find something to do, like gardening.
If none of that works, go back to the taking a pill and getting some sleep.
Hope some of this might be something you can do to combat it also. Good luck, hopw you feel better soon

I can look back on periods where I didn't think about suicide at all. For months or years though, I think about it throughout the day. Sex isn't my favorite fantasy anymore. Even if I'm not thinking about hurting myself, other violent things pop into my head. You're defintely not alone in your experiences.

Suicidal thinking can be broken down into 2 general categories.

One is where it comes and goes based on how you are feeling. This is they type that most people have.

The second type is where you think about it no matter how you feel. Also, these people tend to think about death in general. This is "normal" for these types and it use to have its own diagnosis. Now it is lumped in with major depression. This type is rare, but even more dangerous if the person can not tell the difference between these thoughts and those from the 1st. Generaly people with these thoughts start having them at a young age. They learn a rough control of them. When the 1 types start over lapping is when things get dangerous if they can't tell the difference. They try and control the 1st type but they can't and they end up harming themselves. I am of this type and it sucks. You are always second guessing your thought.

The one thing eveyone needs to do is be aware of their thoughts and why they are having them. Are you sad cause you watched "Old Yeller"? thats understandable. Being sad as you watch the "Wizard of Oz" not so understandable.

I tried once and found myself in the hospital in critical condition. I do think of it sometimes still, but I know that I could never go through with it. I imagine how it would be for my daughter to be without a mother, my boyfriend to be without the one he loves and looks forward to seeing every evening after work, my parents, my friends. I know that it seems that nobody cares or that everyone is better off without you when you feel down like you are feeling now. It does go away. Promise!

wolfram ty for the post - it was very informative and at same time I identified with it greatly - I was first suicidal at age 12 and it seems like when anything - big or small - goes wrong in my life my mind dwells on suicide. It's like I have no stress coping mechanisms other than - life sucks I may as well die. I don't know where I got that from. You reminded me that I need to tell therapist this asap. I am not suicidal now though - just manic.