Its so much easier to give in to the thoughts of defeat and fighting them is not an easy task... I don't know your story but I do know with the right help life can get better... it took time but I am on the right medication combination that improved my life... granted I still fight depression but not at the same level.... letting people help you is important to self care... making the choice to accept help is the first step... if you can, go to an ER and get yourself aligned with a doctor that specializes in mental health.. someone that understands the struggle you have ... then look at getting a therapist someone you can talk to about the reasons you want to die who can work with you to find tools to heal... I hope you make the decision to live ... and do what is necessary to make your life the best one it can be.. ((hugs)) polar

I have a doctor, therapist and medications. And for some reason this depression period is really bad this time. I don't know how much longer I can take it. I was just in the ER Saturday, I don't want to go again...

I am glad you have supports in place... But if the depression is making you want to kill yourself you need to be seen again by a doctor ... Don't feel bad that you have to go back you can't do it by yourself... Let them take another look at the meds ... Maybe stay in a few days and see what happens there are no easy answers it takes time...((hugs)) polar

I see my medication doctor tomorrow, I'm going to see what he says first. I'm just nervous that if I stay in a couple of days, that I'll lost my job.

Oh ok that would be a worry.... Is there something you can do that helped before to distract you from the thoughts ... I find time goes quickly with a movie and I feel good when I listen to music ... It's good you can meet with them tomorrow its just getting through the night (( hugs)) polar

I try, but it's to much to distract right now. Usually I can. But right now it's too much.

Do you live alone? Is there someone there with you?

I would love to continue this conversation but unfortunately it is late where I live and I have to prepare to go to bed... please do whatever you can to hang in there and if you have someone present in your home, let them know you are struggling so they can be of support to you.... I will check in with you tomorrow... ((hugs)) polar

Also, you can call a crisis line in your hometown and they can talk with you longer... do take care of yourself.. ((hugs)) polar

I've gone through that. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Going to your doctor is an excellent step in getting better. Hugs.

The people that I live with are my parents, but they do not understand what I go through, if they knew, they would be more problems then help.

I hope you're feeling a bit better today. let us know how you are? hugs

I'm okay today, I chatted with the suicide hotline yesterday and that helped enough so that I could go to sleep. But I still feel awful and like I should die.

I'm glad the crisis hotline helped and I think that you see your doctor today... These are symptoms of bipolar sweetie.... As Polar said life can get a lot better when on the right meds... It sounds like you need a med tweak... Big hug....xo

I'm so tired of all the medication changes. .....