Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Without getting into details about figures all the purchases I continuously make with the many rationalizations (I've had such a hard life and I've survived, my fiancee can afford it- more on that below) and impulsiveness all I can say is that it is very disturbing. It gets even weirder when you consider that I am spending my fiancee's money since he supplements my income. Granted, he does very well with his business so I'm not breaking the bank, but when he gave me the credit card it was for me to get around town while he was in meetings here in LA. There is deceit involved because I am probably always, on some level, in survival mode. Combined with BP it's a tough egg to crack. I went to an outdoor shopping mecca without a care in the world and spent around $500 - lipsticks, bras, clothes, bath salts, a gift, nails & massage, and meals. Last weekend in NYC I spent close to $500 on winter clothes. (his money of course).
He did get upset when I told him (he had to draw it out of me). First I hid my face and asked him not to be mad at me. I seem regress and he becomes my surrogate father.
If I could show you a pic of me sitting in the nail salon massage chair as I was having a pedicure, manicure, and neck massage all at once you would think I was a queen! (I certainly felt like one) The endorphins were really flowing and I was enjoying telling jokes with the gals.
But seriously, I have been like this for years and were it not for him I'd be in big trouble. I was deprived of so much as a child and I wonder when this acting out is going to run its course, The irony is that I give things away just as impulsively.
I think I'll start a journal and this will be my first post.
He did get upset when I told him (he had to draw it out of me). First I hid my face and asked him not to be mad at me. I seem regress and he becomes my surrogate father.
If I could show you a pic of me sitting in the nail salon massage chair as I was having a pedicure, manicure, and neck massage all at once you would think I was a queen! (I certainly felt like one) The endorphins were really flowing and I was enjoying telling jokes with the gals.
But seriously, I have been like this for years and were it not for him I'd be in big trouble. I was deprived of so much as a child and I wonder when this acting out is going to run its course, The irony is that I give things away just as impulsively.
I think I'll start a journal and this will be my first post.
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Mom and I have errands to run this morning. She said we can get sushi for lunch though. I go back to work today. What are you looking forward to this weekend?
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Quick, before the evil MONday gets here! Let's climb those mountains, dance in the meadows, dip our feet in the ocean....Okay, so most of us won't be doing any of That. Sadly. But today can still be a great day!The area behind our back fence is on an incline, with less than two feet on even ground at the top. I don't balance well enough for the incline, but our mower guy mows that...
I've known some good people who have ruined their lives by spending too much.
Since you are describing a bout of hypo-mania .... maybe time to talk with your Pdoc ?
Med changes ?
I would hate to see your relationship suffer because of something that has gotten out of control
I'm on disability so I only get a small check every month which i blow thru within 2 days because of shopping.
I only shop online so that makes it even harder and knowing all my credit card numbers by heart certainly doesn't help.
What I do is order a whole bunch of crap, pick out what I want, then send them back. and not all of them have free shipping so now I got to schelp all these boxes to the post office and pay a small fortune to send them back. There's always an ebb and flow of boxes coming and going. from my door step.
I know the UPS guys by name.
I freak out when the AMEX bill comes and hide it till I can't hide it anymore and have to give in, that's when I get the "SPEECH""
My Hubby has bailed me out 3 times and since he doesn't make the money he made in 2008 it's putting a strain on our relationship.
I put most on the AMEX card and you know what that means, pay in full every month.
I find if I'm very stressed I shop and the more I'm stressing while ON the computer more I want to shop,and then here comes the panic attack..while I shop! the most I do it while I'm rapid cycling.
I promise every month I won't shop but I can't figure out whats missing and why shopping fills that void.
When I figure that out I'm gonna bottle it and give to my fellow sufferers lol!
I've learned my lesson. Before I buy something I give it a 24 hour test. If after 24 hours I still feel like I need it, then it's ok. Usually I lose interest in the item.
And now I make sure that I put something away from every paycheck for "emergencies" which do happen!
Now, if I want to shop online, I put money on a debit card and when it's gone - I'm done. Big purchases - by the time you put the money on the card and get ready to place an order you know for sure if it's a bad idea.
The freedom from it is like a ton of bricks off your shoulders.
The details are not important, but suffice to say we could not keep him. Period.
My husband handled it very well and offered to take him back, but told me he thought it would be so much better if I could do it because I *hate* taking things back (and I was already so in love with that puppy).
I did end up taking him back, and I find that single heartbreaking/embarrassing experience helps keep me in check all these years later.
Much love and luck getting things under management,
beep.
Therapist says to go on a budget- really??? I used to have temper tantrums as a child and it's like my inner child is going to have one if I don't buy her what she wants. Maybe I need to try really hard at tough love. God knows I was successful at it with my son. He wore me out as did school teaching. I'm so tired of working so hard on managing life. I've longed for easy for 50 years and spending when I want (with his ok) is a dream come true. I'm going to make it a point to let him know ahead of time so I don't feel guilty. I think that will be a step forward in controlling the impulses.
USP shipments..........yes I too have a regularly stream of packages arriving..... I even forget what I ordered, but when it arrives- like my neck collar and then my back massages I'm so glad I bought it. I do regret buying Lady Gaga/Tony Bennett CD.
There's another thing: I often stress about very small amounts- things under 20 and don't think twice about something in the higher range.
Never again.
Now I don't spend as wrecklessly as before, though I do have the odd binge, my problem is the cost of living and underearning.