Would a gratitude list help you out......when I start feeling that way, I make myself list all the things that I am grateful for. Just an idea....may help a bit. Sorry you're feeling bad I hope it passes for you soon!! ox

I wish I knew too.

Im very self pitying as well. And I am totally a sucky friend. I have lost my last Real Life friend over me being stubborn, and have had no one but DS to curb my need to feel like I am a part of something.

I have lots to be happy for, and should just change my attitude too, so that I can be more motivating towards myself and help drive change instead of wishing it would happen to me.

I need to happen to it.

But I dont know how to make it stick. I get all "Im really going to do it this time, Im going to change, Im going to eat right, Im going to get out more, Im going to be active, Im going to be nicer, Im going to be more loving and forgiving" and then when I wake up the next morning I am as angry as I was before and stagnate and pity... and the cycle is never ending.

I wish you POWER and STRENGTH, to change what you want to.
And I hope you come into what you want for yourself.

HUGGZ

I agree with tats but I agree with you it is so hard. I have 2 friends who have so much more theen me in two differe ent ways.One money and all that that brings and one with activities and dothing thigs.

You might think of what it would be like with out the friend.

If you are into God you could ask Him to help you.

If being with them at THEIR houses is part of the problem start seeing them at a coffee shop or your place. Thats what I do with one of my friends. Her place is so gorgeous I get jealous just parking in her driveway. The other one I do that too some of the time otherwise pp are always dropping by interrupting "Our time" like her kids and grandkids.

I can soooo understand what you mean.

It helps me to get outside myself and help someone else. It doesn't have to be a big thing. Today I helped two elderly ladies open their P.O. box. They were so cute but boy were they having a hard time. Made me feel good and took me out of my own little world for a minute.

Smile at strangers, hold the door for someone, give your sister a small something to show you love her, play with kids, bake cookies for someone, call an elderly neighbor, hug your dog.

These always help me if just for a little while.

We can change our feelings by how we think about things. Change the thoughts and the feelings will follow, to a great extent. Therapy is often the best means of accomplishing this.

Is it beyond your control to not act on impulse? Do you try your best to not act according to your 'negative' feelings? If you feel angry about something, but know that you 'shouldn't' be, can you keep yourself from expressing it by words and/or your behavior? Or can't you tell that your anger is misplaced?

Perhaps an anger management class would be helpful in that case. Sometimes, just reeling ourselves in and second-guessing our initial reactions can help us to drop our angry feelings and we feel no need to lash out.

Sometimes, establishing the right attitude is merely a matter of making a habit out of behaving correctly. Do it regularly and often enough and it becomes second nature.

Good luck with changing what you want to change!!! Being a good friend is a worthy goal!!!!

Carla has a Really good point, heretic, one I remember from a long time ago: When you don't feel it, Do it. (if you know it's right)...keep Doing it, and the feeling Comes.

It's a good way to work through displaced emotions, though it Does take awhile.

I'm not exactly like you, but I am Exactly like that when it comes to relationships in my past. I am angry, jealous, petty and Definitely self-pitying. Greedy, possessive, not willing to share...get the picture?

And I have Had to teach myself to treat the other person like I would someone with whom I am Not in a relationship; being able to See their needs, walk in their shoes and Share.

Do It. And you won't want to or feel like it, at first. But the feelings will Come. And you'll have more friends who will Want to be there.

:)

Thank you all for your good advice, there is some really good stuff here that I will be thinking about. I really appreciate it so thanks.

How about not beating yourself up for being angry and jealous? You have every right to be angry with the shitty situation you find yourself in, and every right to be jealous of people who have it better.

So rather than try suppress the anger, why not just allow it to be and distract yourself into nicer thoughts and actions. Give yourself a little time each day to express and feel anger and jealousy, then distract yourself with something different.

that;s the latest approach I am trying, while my life is sucky too, I am not trying to convince myself that it isn't, but accept that it is not what I want and I try small steps to make it less sucky and do what I can.

Why not spew all your rage into your journal heretic, I would love to read it, we can have a rage-a-thon!!

There will always be someone who has something you wish you could have too, but that does not mean you can't be friends. I woldhate to see you lose a friend because you are envious.

Thank you Shining Soul - excellent suggestions