Meh, my husband is only 20 and I'm almost 27. It really doesn't matter at all.

I'm quite grateful to be with someone who doesn't view sex as being important in a relationship. We go months without it, the longest span being almost a year.
I rarely have the desire for it. He understands that which is great.

I've never really come across men or women who are just in a relationship for the sex or because the other person is attractive.
I don't know but I find that kind of shallow and would rather not be around those types of people at all.
Looks aren't important, they're just a bonus.

Have you never heard of friends with benefits?

there's a difference from when a woman is looking for relation ship material and when she's just looking for sex. I don't find that shallow.

But still most men like sex and need sex regularly. If your husband is different and understanding that's great. How ever I was cheated on in the past and because of that I know how important sex can be for men. Plus I also have a male friend that I frequently chat with who complains that his wife never wants sex and he only gets to have sex about once a year. He pretty much indicated that he's miserable with his marriage and only stays for the sake of his kids.

I don't believe in having sex outside of a relationship.
In my opinion for sex to be successful then there needs to be love behind it.

I do get what you mean though.

Perhaps it's different where I come from but the many discussions I've had with my male friends have led me to believe that sex isn't that important to them. Love and companionship is.

I think people place way too much emphasis on sex. It ruins relationships rather than seals them. You should be content on each others company. And if that's not enough then I don't know what is.

Thank you shelly for you response I wasn't ignoring you.

I will think about whether I want to post it here. But judging by some other things going on I don't feel it's a good place for it. But I will think about it. Some one else did say it was quiet around here and lacked excitement. Personally I think I could do with piece of mind and less drama.

I heard what you said loud and clear but I will argue one point. Men may be insecure, but women have more to be insecure about. Both men and women worry about size. But lots of women are getting labia plasty surgery for cosmetic purposes. When asked why they wanted the surgery it was commonly due to comments made by the husband. I wish I could post the article about it but I lost the link due to computer technical problems. So not only do women have to worry about tightness they have to worry about how it looks. There are also treatments to turn skin back to a light pink color instead of dark coloration from age. Add Breasts to that and yeah we have more to be insecure about.

Why would anyone be insecure about their vagina?
They all look gross, they all serve the same function. I really don't get it.

Jess I have no idea what it is you know or think about sex. All I can gather is that things are very different where you live. Also I have no idea how many vagina's you've seen. I agree they are all ugly to me to. But some women get extremely stretched out labia's usually from child birth. It's a real concern for many women.

As far as tightness I feel insecure about it. I've had my fears confirmed lets put it that way.

Honestly I suggest you read some more threads on the healthy sex group. I'm especially concerned about the future of your relationship with your husband. Sex is a very important part of a relationship I don't know who told you it wasn't but that's the opposite of true.

http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-importance-of-good-sex-in-marriage-892349.html

I know people hate the internet but the above is a useful source of info.

It's not that I have no knowledge of sex or how sexual relationships work, I just don't place much importance on them.

I've been medicated since I was 12 and having sex since I was 17. I've had a few sexual partners, male and female. All of which I have been in relationships with.
I can't do the whole friends with benefits or one night stands, to me they are really dirty and that's just not my thing.

I can understand where you're coming from when you say you're concerned about the future of my relationship. But seriously, not all relationships are the same, not all involve regular sex and not all need to. Please realise that to some people sex really isn't important. It's not the glue that sticks a relationship together. If it is then it's probably not a relationship I'd like to be in.

Bipolar really screws with your sex drive, especially when you're low and in my case quite afraid of being touched intimately. I'm low a lot of the time, as is my husband (he suffers from major depression) neither of us have a healthy sex drive and neither of us care. We know how each other works, and thinks and feels. When we're both in the mood it's a wonderful thing. It may not happen as often as it happens for other people but it works for us.

I've asked him many times if he's happy with our sex life, because I do feel insecure about it. And I do feel guilty that I can't supply more of myself intimately for him. His response was that he doesn't care if we ever have sex again, as long as we're together then that's enough for him.

So while you think sex is important, know that there are people out there who believe the opposite to be true. And they're happy with that.

I also think it's really awful that a man could comment on the tightness of a woman's vagina. That's a really horrible thing to say to someone and I'm really sorry that that happened to you. I can understand why you would be insecure, I would be too.

Honestly I made up my mind there is no way I would post this subject here. This whole thread has been exhausting for me. But I may just be tired because I haven't slept. With that being said I'll be trying to sleep real soon. Good night every body.

If a guy ever said anything mean about my vag I would probably respond by making a whole slur of comments implying many things about they way he has sex and the appearence of anything of his that I could make a jab at. And I would most likely be sure to do it around people like his friends etc so the potential of them never letting it go is there as well.

Then again I can be very vindictive if I let myself be.

But you know like jess said really relationships should not be entirely focused on sex. Otherwise you wouldnt really need a person rather a sex toy. I understand that it is an important factor, but it shouldnt be the main focus.

One point that I feel the need to make is that your attitude can really be the main factor in who you attract. Confidence, even if you are putting on an act of confidence for a while, can make a world of difference in a lot of areas. Men with alterior motives dont target people because of their weight. They target people who they think will be the easiest mark. Even if to them a certain weight seems to be a symbol of lack of confidence, you can definitely put them back in their place by the way you handle yourself.

Even in bed, confidence and the attitude you put out can really change things in a good way.

Honestly I'm done discussing this topic. Yes it is an insecurity that I felt I needed to express but honestly It's not like I'm concerned about it for the time being. This whole thread has just gotten kind of weird. It's gone in directions I didn't expect. I had my reasons for not wanting to discuss it here.

But thank you every one for your concerns.

as far as the predator type men I have no idea what it is they are perceiving as weakness all I know is that the find them selves severely mistaken. I am by no means weak, maybe I lack confidence in some areas but I have no problems telling some one to F*ck off. And don't under estimate my dis like for social situations in public places. I may be very friendly around here and kind but lets just say that doesn't extend to strangers in public. Once again I don't know what they are thinking when they approach me all I know is I have a very short temper and I annihilate assholes with extreme prejudice.

sorry I didn't mean for any one to take that the wrong way. What's getting weird is surrounds the relation ship sex things going on. I understand very well what a relation ship should be. It's a healthy balance of things including sex.

I wasn't trying to judge jess's marriage. I was just concerned because some of the things she posted weren't making sense to me.

At this point I'm wondering if I'm just not making sense because of lack of sleep or if people are some how miss interpreting what I've wrote. And when did every one get so serious about sex? Sex doesn't always have to be in a relation ship. Some times people have friends with benefits why that's so dirty I can't understand. Nothing wrong with friends who clearly communicate their intent while full filling each others needs. What's next are you going to tell me masturbation is wrong too?

Frankly the people on the healthy sex group are more open minded about sex and less judgmental about it. And I'm tired of people reading too little or too much into what I said.

I wasn't looking for sympathy or even much feed back. I just wanted to express it some where women have insecurities too. That doesn't mean every man I've been with only cared about the size of my vagina, or that I only care about the size of their dick. It was more like and informative thing. Less about feed back.

The point that I was trying to get across was that everyone's different.

Some people are open about sex, some people are not.
Some people view things as fun and others view them as dirty.

If we were all the same then life would just be boring.