Kisses? There is a stage that most people go through, at some point in their growing-up time, when they see their parents in a more critical view than before, because they start to discover who They really are.

Some people go through this at 15 or 16; some people at 40 or 50. Sometimes it takes a year, sometimes Much longer. But all issues we have with our parents must get faced and resolved in Some way, before we can move on with our lives.

On the board here, you have made many recent posts about interactions with your folks, and you probably know how others feel about it by now. Some people feel you should be patient with them, while others feel you are an adult and should move out.

Either way, kisses, you are at that point of beginning to understand how You feel about how they treat you, and if you agree or not.

We can't send you lots of money to move out, or slap them silly for talking down to you. We can't really be good therapists either, but we can hang out and be Friends while you go through this growing stage and work it all out.

It's Normal to go through this. :). But maayyyyybe you could put some of it in journals instead of posts? We're still here. :)

I write this in posts rather than journal because I want to talk about it with my "friends". Who are you all. Just hang out and be there for me

Just for the record, I'm leaning toward slapping them silly. But I'm Sure they have some redeeming qualities, right?

Oh honey, an ex-friend was justifying the murder of someone, we got in a huge argument and she told me that my being judgemental (of her) is why I have no friends and need a therapist. Sometimes we're better off without certain types of people in our lives. Rekindle your excitement.

So my dad slightly redeemed himself. He gave me some money for my trip. He said he knows I don' t have a lot and handed me a bill. So yes theY are supportive in many ways. But we know they can't understand what they haven't been through. My parents try. They have my best interest at heart. I love them dearly. We all have our days

I'm not sure who needs to be slapped silly......lol

You just, in 1 thread, went from "dad destroyed me" to "my parents love me and have my best interests at heart and I love them". ARRGGGGHHHHHH

I think sometimes some of us just have to take a step back and be a reader for a while.

they call you fat, judgemental, irresponsible and they're both control freaks. None of this is acceptable at any age. I'd have told him to put his money where the sun don't shine! did he even apologise? at twenty six when living with your parents you need to have an arrangement of adults living together. you no longer need parenting and they should have come to that realisation a long time ago. there should be respect but not control. It took me months to get my daughter to realise that I would always be here for her, to listen, sympathise, help financially if i'm in a position to do so, (she'll help me too if i need it) but her decisions are her own all I do is suggest that she do the next right thing for her and assure her of my support in whatever she chooses to do. the same with my sons. It can be a difficult transition from parent/child to adult/adult but I hope you get to make a start on it kisses or this cycle will just be unending and you are too good a person to see that happen to you all the time. hugs.

Yeah, I finally kicked my son out at 27, because he just never wanted to leave....lol...didn't work for me. Now he lives at the FireStation full time and only comes by once a day for food...I can do that.

The natural order of things is for kids to grow up and move on, be an adult, have your own space, and live life.....when did that change?

Oldcper you are insinuating that I am a freeloader? I do have a mental illness, suicidal tendencies, and serious anxiety. I get anxious being left alone and I can't hold a full time job. So it works better for me to be in the safety of my parents home where I feel safe and they can watch for signs of depression that I may be oblivious too. I will live at home until I am in a position to support myself financially.

@Kisses:
1. I was responding to Iris, forgot for a second I was on your Thread.

2. Do I ever "insinuate"? If I thought you were a Freeloader I'd come right out and say it. There is not a soul on this Board that would doubt that. No I do not think you are a Freeloader. I know why you think you need to stay at home with your Folks.

Now let me tell you a bit about my son: He was born without an Immune System, he was a bubble baby, not allowed to be out of the house and around other people until he was 5 years old. My then husband and I were not out in public together at the same time for 4 years because 1 of us had to be at home with Zach.....because by 1 he'd almost died 3 times and we'd been told he wouldn't live to see his 2nd birthday and I didn't trust anyone else to be with him. At 6 weeks old I found him blue and not breathing in his crib and I had to do CPR on him until the ambulance came and got him to the hospital. He spent most of his 1st year of life in the hospital. By 12 years old he'd almost died 8 times. He was born with underdeveloped lungs which caused severe and permanent asthma, his immune system caught up with him around 6 years old, but never developed into what a normal persons would be so he gets sick very easily. He's 27 years old and has had Pneumonia 31 times. He's had Pertosis 4 times and Whooping Cough 14 times. He has Chronic Migraines and had severe ADD which was medication controlled until 19, when he learned to use breathing techniques and relaxation therapies to control the lesser ADD that he still deals with. He battles with Depression. He won't live a normal life span because although he's only 27 his lungs are that of a 60 year old from all the disease and scarring of his lifetime illnesses.

Kisses, I know incredibly well from both sides of the fence how hard it is to live with Medical Illness and Mental Illness...I have 7 Major Diseases, BiPolar Disorder, and Chronic Pain. I've had 30 Surgeries in the last 19 years....and all my adult life I was the one that had to be the breadwinner in my family regardless of how sick I was Mentally or Medically, because my alcoholic husband couldn't hold a job and I had 2 children to support. My vacation and sick leave were usually used up when I was having surgery or in-patient psych stays from a stupid suicide attempt....

I promise you there is not anyone on this Board who knows better what it takes to live either from a fellow BiPolar's point of view, from a parent's point of view, from's a Clinician's point of view....I've got them all. I know what my son goes through living on his own somewhat, its why he lives at the Fire Department, because like you he can't really live on his own, but he needs to know how to live out in the world, and being there affords him that opportunity. I won't be here forever to take care of him.. He's at my door pretty much every evening for supper, to catch up on the day, to check up on me and just because he and I have always had a very, very close bond.....when a Dr. asks you if you want to keep using every measure possible to keep your baby or 5 year old or 11 year old alive.....well, like I said, I have a very unique view on the whole situation from every angle.

Do I think you should live at your parents home? Honestly No, I don't, I think you're scared and I think your mother and your Pdoc keep you scared and controlled. Do I think you can live on your own, No I don't, but I think you could live in a Halfway House type situation or a Psychiatric Step Down Dormitory Type situation and I think you could learn to take care of yourself. But that's just my opinion, it doesn't mean squat. I don't think your a freeloader, I just think you're in a tough situation.

Take care my friend...

Hi Kisses....sometimes parents have to do hard behaviors and hard emotional decisions in order for the best outcome for their adult children. Case in point, I made the decision to put my son in a homeless shelter, he was there for 5 weeks, at the age of 19...much younger in age due to his Asperger (high function autism) dx. The decision was Horrible...I kept my focus on the outcome....he would be admitted into a program called YAS, he would have a room, 3 meals a day, 24hr supervision and medication management...along with all mental and physical care. Why? Because I knew I could do nothing any longer to teach him and his passive aggressive behavior was too much for me to cope with due to my own psy problems...in addition, I have no family, my son's father is not in his life and I wanted to have in place All services I could find incase something happened to me...cancer in 2012. John just turned 21 on Sunday, he still lives in the same place Which I Hate, however the skills he has learned are invaluable for his future. I no longer am his conservator, he has a case manager and therapist to assist him...if he asks, I give him my thoughts....He Makes His Own Decisions. Why? Because he needs to fall down, pick himself back up, and have confidence in himself...the best way to learn is by mistakes.

You may wonder why I wrote this....it's because there is a triangle in your family as I see, I could be very wrong, but I'll try to explain. You are at the top, your M&F are the base...balancing, enabling and controlling you by 'keeping you safe' in yours and their eyes, with a roof and food.

Again, I could be way out of line here, and if I am, I apologize ahead of time. Being safe, is not how you grow and gain confidence in yourself. You may not be able to work full time, you could apply for disability on your father/mother income. You could ask your therapist, pdoc where you could get supportive group home services with a case manager who can assist you with any area you need support. You could go to the BRS where they can help you due to having a disability.

There are many avenues for help if you go to your state gov page and look under adults with disabilities services. I wish you the best, and if I can be of support in Anyway,I'm here for you.