Thanks. I have been anxious because I can't escape reminders of my PTSD, and I never will be able to. I can't bury the PTSD in the past but have to learn to live with it. I am just a nervous wreck with this realization. I think the therapist is upset that we haven't made progress on this. I wonder if she will fire me as her patient and move on to someone easier. I feel lost, on edge, and almost out of control.

Sending waves of support your way, Thor. I don’t think your therapist would walk away. Very sorry to hear you are living with this nervous agitation right now - though I can’t know what it’s like to live with combat ptsd, I understand the physical aspects of trauma and I hope it can subside for a peaceful day. Stay strong - rooting for you.

SHL - Thanks. I have the therapist reviewing a letter that will goto my company and tell them my entire mental health history. During that review, I will bring up my anxiety again. I hope she will talk with me. It is a long time to the next appt.

Why am I such a hot mess? I am well educated and have a job unaffected by the virus but I seem to be just falling apart. I am almost at the point to ask for hospitalization.

Thor2008 - I hope your anxiety will calm down. My daughter, who is 33 years old, quit seeing her therapist because he got impatient with her and started to show frustration and moodiness. She saw him about three years. My daughter has been on SSI since she was 14 due to her depressions - anxiety disorders that caused her to be unable to continue regular school. I told her to put up with the therapist, who is in his 60's (my age) until she said her problem with him was his lack of empathy. I told her she could quit then. A short time later we found her a new therapist who was nice but left the clinic. She can ask to see a different therapist in the same clinic but has not done it yet and will do it soon after the place opens up.

I myself have seen different therapists since I was 25. My depressions started when I was 23 and living in Thailand where I was born and grew up (I came to US when I was 25 and was hospitalized about 6-7 times). What gives me horrible anxiety and fear at the moment is my worry about my daughter's future. I am worrying about how unhappy she can be when she ends up in some group home after my husband are gone (she is living with us right now and never goes anywhere without someone with her). She is able to learn but her health issues and our life circumstances have caused her to be behind in learning life skills that she will need to survive. Because of our lack of financial resource, my daughter will not be able to live in a nice group home, and we have no support from other extended families or friends. Just the three of us, all being on disability. I have not lost all my hope yet but am feeling miserable right now with the emotional and physical symptoms of the anxiety and depression.

About 4-5 months ago my doctor took me off Xanax cold turkey, and I have been having very bad withdrawal symptoms. She tried to give me two different anti-depressants which so far didn't work. I am taking Lamictal which was prescribed to me by a psychiatrist over ten years ago along with the Xanax. The doctor who prescribes anti=depressants for me at present is not a psychiatrist but a PA socializes in psychiatry. Her clinic is closed right now, and I have not try to get hold of her but will have to do it soon. I was never told I have PTSD but I feel I do. I have bipolar for sure and am on disability due to this illness since 1994. I hope you will feel better from what is bothering you. For me, getting good sleep helps but I think I need more medication. I hope you will have a good new therapist if you were to lose the present one. Hope you can take it easy today and feel less anxious. Wishing you a restful and calm day today.

Hi Thor wishing you a peaceful day and that is the least I can wish for you. I’m so sorry about your struggle with Combat PTSD. I have PTSD also and my side kick has combat PTSD like you. I watch him struggle with daily activities. I hope you get to talk with your therapist soon or maybe if need be find a new one. All this can be so stressful along with everything else going on in this world. May you find peace Thor like I said you deserve so much more.....namaste Pema

Thank you for the lovely hugs sweetie and I'm sending big hugs of peace and calm as well

I'm also so sorry for all that you have to struggle with Thor.... TY for being there to help protect the rest of us.... xo

More hugs as this nights continues. I feel the need to take ambien to try and sleep tonight but also DONT want to sleep to keep a watchful eye.....

Tremendous supportive waves to our community here - much love.

Thank you. I'm really depressed. Hugs for you, too.