Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Sad rant

Black_Rose63
Black_Rose63

I know i'm lucky.. I got diagnosed this year, which is really early on. but why is it that I can't be happy? I keep uping my meds and it works for a couple of days to a week. but it fades and i'm back to hurting. I feel hopeless and so alone. why me? why is it that no matter how hard I try I can't be happy I'm trying so hard. I really am. But i keep thinking and thinking.. I feel like such a failure to me and my parents. I've managed to lose myself and I can't find me anymore. The worst part is that It's on me. I have nothing to blame it on anymore..it's just me. I cut again for the first time in a long time.. and the worst part is that I liked it. I'm so miserable and I can't seem to help myself.  My parents have tried so hard..and i can't get better. Which makes it worse because I feel like it"s all my fault..and maybe it is. I feel so alone..and lost. My future seems...blank right now..I'm strong I know I am. I can keep fighting all the pain and urges to cut. I can fight all of it. but i'm so tired. I really wanna rest now, why can't I be okay enough to rest? I don't wanna fight anymore. I really don't...I'm alone and lost....I  don't know what to do anymore..

Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
hi, sorry you are going through a bad time.

Being 16 is hard enough without all the other stuff.

My advice is to hang on, being a teen sorts itself out and if you are only just on meds that is also something that can be a rough ride, in terms of getting the (often temporary) side effects while the proper action has yet to kick in, plus all the grieving/ anger over a diagnosis even if you expected and welcomed it.
Sunshinegirl0228
Sunshinegirl0228
I know how hard htis must be for you. Do you see a therapist? They can really help you cope with all the hard stuff.
I agree with fish, being 16 is hard enough without adding mental illness. I started cutting my senior year but I havent now for three years,
Coping skills are so important to dealing with this all. Just search for 100 coping skills online and you can pick and choose what you like. FOr example, i crochet to settle down. i have a music app on my phoen I use to refocus my mind. And most importantly I have my dogs who keep me VERY busy. Its all bout finding what works for you
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you BR.....I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time right now.... We do have a treatable disorder ….It can take some time to find not only the right meds but also coping skills.... I know it's not easy but do your best to be patient with the process.... Another hug.... I'm glad that you're here....xo
RLSBuddy
RLSBuddy
Glad you joined us - this a great group! I don't post often but I wanted to offer you some hope. My son always says, "How I feel today is not necessarily how I will feel tomorrow" so give yourself a break. I wasn't diagnosed until my 40's and that made for a tumultuous couple of decades. See a good therapist and don't give up on medication. Those two things have done tremendous things for me.
Jenniferswe
Jenniferswe
Welcome to DS. It looks bad right now but you're young. You're fortunate to be getting treatment now while you have so much time on your side. Keep getting involved in what interests you and ask for help when you need to. Big hugs.
SE1989
SE1989
Im sorry you're going through this. The thing with cutting is that it directs your pain somewhere else, distracting you. As far as feeling down, Ive been there myself. Look, the only thing to do is ride through it and think that this is temporary and it too shall pass. One day when you least expect it. In case case, you can always send me a message and I'll be glad to listen and do my best to help.
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