do you feel you'll be okay if you have someone with you through the night? it's okay to call a crisis line and just talk until he comes home, or call a friend and have them stay with you. you're not a burden. you're going through a tough time. this is a real illness that demands real considerations. would you tell a cancer patient that they were a burden for suffering the effects of chemo treatment, or that they were a burden for needing surgery? you're no different. you have an ailment that requires attention. and you have to be understanding of yourself and respect the limitations of your mind and body as you work toward recovery. this is a lifelong process and struggle. give yourself the space and allow yourself the patience to be kind to yourself and not judge yourself harshly for what you need.

I don't have any friends that can come stay with me and my family doesn't believe in mental illness. They think I'm "attention seeking" as they've put it. I have numbers of people I can call. I feel that I have the resources I need to be safe. He even did so much as to make sure our son was watched by a friend of his (that doesn't care for me at all) so I won't even have him. I want him to go to work even though it scares me. My therapist taught me how to better ground myself during an attack and she told me to not believe what the voices are telling me. I'm working on not judging myself, but it's hard when I think back to how I was 10 years ago. I wasn't struggling this much and it kills me that I am now. Thank you for your kind words.

Xoxoxoxo I don't have any advice. Just hang tight and know what the truth is

I'm really sorry to read of fears and so much more...I maybe stepping over your boundaries....if I were you, I'd bring myself to the emergency room and be admitted to a psy ward so I could get myself stabilized.

You are the one who is in control of you...so it's your choice...please keep in mind the safety of your child. Huge Prayers for your wellbeing!

I can't be admitted, I don't have 24/7 care for my child if I'm not around. And there's no telling how long they would keep me.. those places terrify me. My child is the only reason I keep on going and his safety is #1 priority. You're definitely not overstepping, I had the thought to go to the psych ward, but my therapist told me to hang on if I can and she made me an emergency appointment for later on this afternoon. And my psychiatrist is aware because my fiancé called him this morning. Thank you for the hugs and prayers..

Hopefully you'll be put on some medication that will bring you out of psychosis and help you to find stability.... I've gone through this for a couple of times and medication worked well within a few days...... There is good help and there is stability please don't lose site of this... I know that going through this is awful .... Your fiance 'sounds' like a great guy..... Gentle hug.....xo