I have gone up and down as most days. Last night I felt like I was going to die young.

An old friend reassured me that it was just a feeling, not a fact -though feelings are real he said-

 and so I kept that in my mind.

Today I went to work, and my mood went way up and way down - but I was occupied and ultimately fulfilled

by that occupation - and the comraderie of my coworkers.

Though I have a really unstable sense of self - my personality can change a lot - this happened

today, the realization of accepting my life.

I felt like I would like a better life - and then kind of thought this is my own

little ole idiosyncratic life so just love it. - I kind of realized too - that I need to lift myself up above my feelings

and just move on.  So this is my life. I went down into Malibu today and posted something at the Post Office

totally stammered for fear with the Postal worker but it's ok. I am sharing this because I think I am kind of inspired to keep going

though alone now (and so I am posting here) I may feel like a piece of beat up red meat at times - I am learning to accept it.

I need to work to make money - but it is also great therapy for me - it's great to be around people. When I am at home

and plopped down in the front of the TV my mood doesn't do so well. I think that's important for me to maybe make a change about. When I get tired at work - my mood shifts and scramble brains get to me - but maybe at home once I am rested I can start to find other things to do. Just thoughts. Thanks for reading this rambling message!!