I feel your pain, my dad passed and it was right before I was diagnosed. I went into a manic episode during the time he was dying for a year. Please call a hotline or friend and talk. Hurting yourself is not the answer, you are grieving.

Oh Charming! I'm so sorry for your loss!! Grieving is a natural phase of losing someone so you're not alone. I know these are just words. I wish there were more we could do to help! You're sounding suicidal - do you think it's time to call someone or go to your local hospital? I hope so much that things get better!!! Take care of yourself! Get help! Keep posting - we'll be here!

i am very sorry for your loss.

i don't know what to say except i support you. please don't hurt yourself. if need be, the hospital is a much, much better alternative to doing something dangerous to self.

maybe grief counceling would help?

I have grief counseling later this week. I'm so tempted to hurt myself. I want to. I feel I don't have time to go to the hospital. But I keep having these thoughts.

Many cultures around the world practice self-harm as an expression of grief. I don't recommend it. I've used the Grief Workbook and principles throughout my life. For instance, the typical grieving time for a life altering loss is 5 years so don't try to get over things too soon.
http://www.caring.com/grief

The thoughts of hurting myself haven't gotten any better. I don't know how long they will make me stay at the hospital. I don't want to be there too long.

Grief is a very painful process... I'm so sorry you've lost your dad...Some things change us for ever and grief can definitely trigger an episode..

I hope you will reach out for whatever help you need.. It's there for you and there's healing to be had..

I've found that over time the good memories come back and the pain becomes much less... There's always a sense of loss however for me a sense of gratitude for all the time I had my parents has replaced the pain..
I'm sure your Dad would want you to be healthy and at peace

If you need to go to emerg sweetie please go

Great big hug for you and a blessing...x

up here in canada, the minimum hold they can put on someone who commits themselves is 72 hours. i'm somewhat sure it's the same in america.

3 days isn't too bad, especially if it helps us get to a better place in life.

So sorry for the loss of your Dad.
It must be so hard .
I don't think your Dad would want to see you in so much pain . I would think he would want you to be happy in life and move forward .
When you think of him think of happy positives times and send him your love . Big Hugs

I've had a dog that I lost and a baby that didn't term. I know it might not be the same for some, but it was loss that ignited depression & bipolar. Loss is super hard. My heart goes out to you and if you feel like hurting yourself yes, hospital! Suncloud is right, the pain get's easier with time. Two months isn't very long even though it seems like it, give it more time. You'll never forget, but it will get better.

Condolences on the passing of your father... I recently went through the same , and felt much the same as what you're describing... I talked more to my pdoc and prescribing nurse, which helped.

If need be, take advantage of a hospital stay. Many here have good suggestions of thinking of what your father would want for you...

I know those thoughts helped me carry on when I thought it impossible...

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time... take care of YOU, charming..

When I lost my step-father, and loving honrable man - probably taught me more about work and life, and also the only person that ever said "I'm proud of you...." I couldn't handle it...

for years, I cried when I mentioned his name - the loss was rattiling my soul, and I didn't know how to handle my pain. I went to a grief loss support group - its HUGE and kinda of a class, with a book and movies, friends to be made in the same boat..... they are held everywhere!!!! They are usually held in churches, but it is not a religious group - it's a venting, healing, not alone - get some skills and peace group...

http://www.griefshare.org/

Please see if there is one in your area!!!! I waited two or so years before I went - I so wish I had went sooner, I got peace and knew he wasn't worried anymore - I could love the thought of him, without crying till I puked!

Pain is inevitable - births and deaths are natural - never easy! That you are depressed, means your alive - please quit thinking of NOT BEING!!!! Hold on to as much support as you can, here, real life groups, friends, families - this is a time to let people help us, hold us, and encourage us - as I hope I'm doing (((((CharmingDistaster))))))))

I know what you are feeling my both parents died of Alzheimers deaths are very painful, there is this saying that kept me calm and added good insight Loss is our legacy, Insight is our gift, Memory is our guide I hope this helps my nephew dies at a young age 25 germ cell tumor sometime other people don't understand how we feel or they say time heals but in reality it never does,Just think of all the good times you had with your Dad pictures are great.