Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm really sorry if this post is all over the place. I know what I want to ask but I'm not sure how to ask it but if I don't start typing, I'll never get it out.
OK. Anyone who knows me from here will know I've been depressed for months with no real improvement. Undergoing treatment for anorexia and was told "not bipolar". Taken off all meds but one anti-depressant.
So. Saturday I posted because I was feeling really hyper etc. In my opinion it could have been hypomania. BUT at the same time my thinking patterns were still destructive. I wanted to self harm.
I had a review today at the hospital and explained that since Saturday I have been in this 'good mood' but not as hyper as Saturday.
My questiong is. Does anyone think it's a problem that I still feel suicidal? I mean...suicidal as in, if someone was to say OK you can go and do it. I wouldn't hesitate at all. I WANT to do it. The ONLY reason I won't is because it will hurt my family. My therapist doesn't know I still feel like this. Should I tell him?
Since I've been in this 'heightened mood' since Saturday, I think about these thoughts and I'm just not bothered. It doesn't scare me at all.
Is this a good thing?
x-Bliss-x
OK. Anyone who knows me from here will know I've been depressed for months with no real improvement. Undergoing treatment for anorexia and was told "not bipolar". Taken off all meds but one anti-depressant.
So. Saturday I posted because I was feeling really hyper etc. In my opinion it could have been hypomania. BUT at the same time my thinking patterns were still destructive. I wanted to self harm.
I had a review today at the hospital and explained that since Saturday I have been in this 'good mood' but not as hyper as Saturday.
My questiong is. Does anyone think it's a problem that I still feel suicidal? I mean...suicidal as in, if someone was to say OK you can go and do it. I wouldn't hesitate at all. I WANT to do it. The ONLY reason I won't is because it will hurt my family. My therapist doesn't know I still feel like this. Should I tell him?
Since I've been in this 'heightened mood' since Saturday, I think about these thoughts and I'm just not bothered. It doesn't scare me at all.
Is this a good thing?
x-Bliss-x
If it wasn't someone with a PHD in psychiatry who told you "not bipolar" then they had no grounds to take you off your medication.
Go talk to your therapist immediately and hang in there. You're gonna be fine ... Just know your family would be devastated if you did something drastic like that. You will pull through.
tell your therapist immediately
no one has said OK to suicide or to feeling suicidal or to self harm
suicide WILL hurt your family
Thanks for sharing
After reading your posts from the past,i would probably think you are a mixed episode BP..difficult to treat,,difficult to DX,as the signals are mixed..irratable,happy,tired,feeling suicidal,hopeless,and wondering WTF is going on.....try and see another Phyciatrist,a Therapist isn't medically qualified to DX bipolar...much less something as complecated as a mixed episode.
((HUGS))
I am a mixed episode Beeper,and I don't take anti-d's..I get an atypical reaction..they send me into a manic,ultimately phycotic episode
I'm seeing my therapist today anyway at Day Patients so I guess I'll talk to him.
I'm worried he'll just brush it off though because I seem so much... better? Brighter?
x-Bliss-x
Whether he got it or not I don't know. He didn't respond to it at all. There wasn't a conversation about it or anything.
I left the session feeling completely...I don't even know how to describe it.
All the way home I held everything in. As soon as I walked through the door I just burst into tears.
So I'm not scared of suicide or self harm anymore? Then why this reaction? I still feel like I couldn't give a damn. I WANT to die...especially now! So why did him not reacting to what I told him upset me so much.
Oh I forgot. It's because I'M FUCKED IN THE HEAD!!!