absolutely.... I now have these 'professionals' "looking out for me".... so I have withdrawn from the system completely.. now I need help and I am going to have to go back with my tail between my legs... terrified it is going to lead to a readmission to hospital again

I'm really sorry things have turned out as they have... must be heartbreaking about your internship.... I had a similar experience and it still annoys me to high heaven

I think when we become ill our priorities change... could you defer your internship for a year?

time is a great healer, I'm in my second year of uni too. and cant see that I will be well enough to go back for my third year. but who cares I can do OU when better.

think one of the main problems with us is that we think we are well and dont need help when we do.
self medicate, run away from drs etc. its our condition. Its not nice to have people looking after you but it wont be for ever.

at the moment i am glad of the help
hugs
Rachel

Yes absolutely. I many times.

Yes and no. I hate seeking help because I had to be put through so much scrutiny, and psychiatrists after psychiatrists that just couldn't help me and kept misdiagnosing me. I was unmedicated for 6 years and was possibly doing better then. And I was warded in a psychiatric ward for a day and they treated me like a child. And seeking help makes people call me weak.

But on the other hand, seeking help did help me open up more about my illness. I can now tell people (not too many people) about what I have, and seek support.

You know what, if you worked hard for that internship, convince them that you are fine, you will be okay, and that you need to go for it because it will be therapeutic for you. In 2004, I was accepted into a prestigious uni in my country and my mum was reluctant to let me go. I was medicated back then (meaning I had already sought help), but I badgered on and on about how this would help me. And they finally relented.

Try! And good luck.

I live with my older sister and she is always watching me.

I hate that she feels she has to. She finally got out of a horrible marriage, is free from her adult children and now has me.

I put on 20kg since last yr from meds, so she's always on my case about what i eat.

I went to the tavern one night last week, on my own for a beer and played the poker machines. I wouldn't dare let her know.

Also, a guy that i was seeing regularly for sex when i was manic rang me last week. We only talked as I'm stable now but I didn't want my sister to know.

Its awful having to sneak around.

I have to be well behaved to she relaxes her hold on me.

I do feel like a child.

If your over 18 then I say they cannot stop you from going, they can stop financially by stopping giving you money but the other choice is up to you.

Most universities in the uk will allow disabled students to attend college. whatever the disability. we are also given extra support and money.
surely its is the same in the US? being ill isnt a crime? and as I stated when I applied to defer for the year, that getting up in the morning and having to go somewhere was giving me a reason to live.

since then my condition has got much worse and the thought of just taking a library book back has me in fits of the shakes

hope things turn out well for you
Hugs
Rachel

Nope; been 5 times and never regretted it.