There's some med changes and tweaks that can help get your emotions back. But a big part off it is the trauma we go through just from mood changes and if you can manage to get some stability you might find your emotional health vastly improved.

Nothing in life is easy - if it is, its usually short lived or not real - feelings! LOL

Sorry you're still fighting, losing ground - but I see growth and hope in your words, when you do pop in! Come back more woman, it couldn't hurt!

The job - sucked again? You don't sound happy with extra income.... (((((BIG HUG)))))

Wishing you peace and comfort ASAP! (you are loved and missed around here!)

I have been feeling blah for a long time. I'm been stable so I didn't want to muck with the meds ya know. Dr. finally talked me into changing my Risperdal to Abilify to see if we can rectify that. I'm tired of feeling blah but don't want to go into a manic episode. I was put on Risperdal because of hallucinations. Don't want to go through that again. Ended up in hospital. I hope your able to get your hallucinations under control. Good luck!

I spent so many years being Wonder Woman, lots of energy, lots of creativity.

Had my breakdown , started BP meds, now I feel blunted and flat.

Pdoc says that is what stable is .

Oh really ?

He says my " Wonder Woman " years were hypo-mania

I feel like my life is ruled by pills. 6 in the morning and 3 at night.
I am scared of what I would be like without them, but with them I
am just a blob. I have no interest in anything. The only drug that
actually makes me happy is weed and I don't know where to get
any and couldn't afford it if I did.

I'm thinking about calling it quits on mine too, except at this point it's really not about me. My doctors and family have worked hard and endured a lot of frustration so that I might not live a miserable existence, at this point it's not about what I want.

I'm very bored and complacent these days. I feel fat and disgusting and low often, I laugh at it. Pretty sick no?

Too early to determine whether this is preferable to insanity. At first it was terrible but these past few days have been pree nice.

Life is what happens in between episodes- I've read great news from our poster!

This is not all there is, unless trying and breathing is what your talking about!

It's a dark thread - but she feels, Tat's has a teenage son! Works hard on meds, knowing there is no miracle pill!

Feeling deeply, is not doom and a reason to act crazier or insane - death, jail and hospitals - that is pretty planed out if you don't try and get better....Tat's has tried jobs! Hope, pushing, creating.....relationships - she is a huge inspiration to me and this board, good times and bad!


Saying life sucks and my feelings are not right with my hopes - why would you give up? Shit - I'm 50, my family lives to a hundred - I had great jobs on great meds for 25 years....

Disability now? Well, I still want a full life!!!! I wish I had understanding, but I don't understand it - why demand others too?

Sorry, my life sucks and I'm trying, and I understand your feeling of doom and disdain - but giving yourself permission to get worse and hurt everyone, especially yourself? I just can't agree - or say to anyone, give up - go to hospital, jail, ruin your family with rage and money problems - I can never say to you or me, fuck it - take away the meds, tools, hope..... I don't believe saying its an option, just like death. These things need to be off the table - they are not choices. That's why sharing on here, and knowing we are not alone and IT DOES GET BETTER - the IT is YOU!!!!

Get mad, try lots of different things - and create a life you want! If that's on disability like a hermit, go for it! But to say - why try, I understand it - but I don't know of anyone in life that doesn't try or work, struggle... My trash man is old, rain or shine - smelly hard job, he has never missed a day of work. I don't think he's happy or enjoys his job! He doesn't have thoughts that scream stop - but he's not joyful, demanding happiness..... it's not a given, we have to go find it, work for it....

If life sucks - your not suppose to be happy! Make something, mistakes are allowed : ) I learn from them too!

I think the belief that all bipolar people must be medicated forever goes too far. Because my breakdowns were over 10 years apart, I feel that I should only be medicated during a breakdown.

If you are strongly feeling wrong, at least talk to your doctor. He or she could lower your dosages and see how it goes. I did that and did so well that I was able to be med free for five years. If you are that scared of having an episode, you can try out the lower dosages under hospitalization.