Chugg. I think your sympathize / empathize comment is what you should focus on.

I understand the desire to fucking freak out at anyone who pisses me off. But I like it better when I stop myself from doing so. It is the damn empathy that gets me.

I am going to try to be reasonable about what I say. How about you?

I DO THE SAME DAMN THING EVERYTIME I DRINK AND COME ON HERE BUT I HAVE TO SAY, THE PEOPLE HERE ARE VERY FORGIVING AND UNDERSTANDING.

It's called " holier than thou" attitude....

In other words, slamming someone else makes one feel better about themself. I am guilty and in my OPINION OMG I said i had an opinion run like hell every other bp does it too.... but yeah the end result is the same, feeling like shit and wondering how ya got there

you are nothing, if not consistent.................I do not think your self-sabotage is a BP thing! imho

chugger, you need to understand that there are others of us--beepers--that experience times when our anger and irritability seem out of control, we react too strongly, sometimes see the whole situation askew and perceive a threat or a slam that isn't really there, and BECAUSE it was never our aim to go off and hurt friends and family or whatever, it all has fallout to deal with, and sometimes if feels like we have been traumatized by our own out-of-control-spin, and perhaps we have. And in that recovery period that follows, it is normal and common to feel remorse, I even saw them talk about that on ER one time! [not that I really ever watched that show--much] Personally, if I held it against you and wouldn't hear your apology, I would be a hypocrite, because I have done some stuff when I was having episodes!

I do that all the time. I get so frustrated and annoyed with people and most of the time I dont hold it in. Simpilest way for me is to stay away from people.
Theres been numerous times that iv almost jumped over the counter in shops and done they're job for them because they were too slow. Or when they're counting out the change gggrrrrrr, I always count it myself as they're taking it out of the till so I dont need them to count it out for themselves then recount it into my hand.
Someone could do something really serious to me and it wouldnt bother me but then other times the smallest most insignificant of things will set me off and ill explode.