He is here within me. I hate his fucking guts!! He makes me want to be mean and ugly and nasty to people. And what set him off?? It started at Burger King when the guy making the burgers touched his hair with his gloved hand. That was weighing on my mind. Then I got home to fix french fries to go with the burgers and they were all frozen together. Then I get here, on DS, and somebody has written an off the wall comment on one of my threads.

That is all. That's all it took and the monster was here within. I almost did it. I had the pills in my hand and just sat looking at them, wondering if it would be enough to do the job. It took everything I had within me to put the pills back in the bottle and not take them. I cannot do that to my family even if I do feel like a hateful bitch. I wanted to take them soooo bad and just end that feeling in my chest once and for all. I hate it so bad.

I hate myself when I am like this. So.......now I sit crying and feeling all mixed up. Hurting. I think that if people have nothing good to say about anybody else they should just refrain from saying anything. There is no need to try and hurt people's feelings. Especially when they have never done anything to you.

Hugs,
Chelle / Zany