Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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heretic 10/31/2011

I feel like all the mental stability I've worked for is being threatened. I let someone back into my life and they just wanted to use me and mess with my head. I know I deserve better. So I won't see them again.

But I'm feeling horrible for letting them back into my life - I feel so ashamed that I was so weak and stupid. They did the same things to me last time, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Thinking of all the things that were said makes me feel sick. I wish I'd stood up for myself and not been so stupid - again.

deleted_user 10/31/2011

You're not weak and stupid. We make mistakes, it happens. Maybe since this person has hurt you so much in the past that you were looking for some sign of them being sorry? Or looking for some type of comfort from them? I know it sounds strange.... but I still do the same with an abusive brother of mine. I talk about beating his face in, but when I see him I freak out and go all on this I need acceptance BS. because it was never something he gave me growing up. Acceptance and love. So any attention he gives me I take.

Then, I hate myself after wards too. maybe I just have issues :P (((hugs)))

dancingd 10/31/2011

Heretic.
I was in a long term marriage, I knew he wasn't good for me.
He wasn't a phsyical abuser, but rather someone who just barely acknowledged I was there.

It took me a long time to finally walk away ( that and a manic episode)

It has taken me a long time to process WHY did I stay with him ?

We all make mistakes, we all have slip ups.

You will be wiser now ( this is a good thing).

Sending hugs
dd

heretic 10/31/2011

Thank you everyone, yes - I hope I will be wiser and stronger. I was looking for him to be sorry, but it didn't work out that way. So I will hopefully learn what I'm supposed to learn, sigh.

deleted_user 10/31/2011

setting boundaries and standing up for yourself can be very, very difficult if you are not used to it.

don't feel ashamed, just be relieved that the toxic person is gone. now you know to protect yourself.

hugs xxx

heretic 10/31/2011

yes zsa, i feel like I have to protect myself from being preyed on, it's unsettling but as time goes on I hope all thought of it will fade - that is my goal, and I hope it happens sooner than later

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