Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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possible trigger...suicide

1PhoenixRising1
1PhoenixRising1
I'm having suicidal thoughts. My attempts in the past were impulsive actions taken during mixed episode. Now I keep thinking...ok after this semester....no afterI the holidays. I keep putting it off...i don't want to do it...i want to hold on to hope...I'm afraid one more thing will break my will though. I dont want to be that selfish but there is an awful part of me that does. I've told no one...I don't want to be sent off..i want to think this through. I remember times I almost died and i did not welcome death but fought to stay alive. Anyone feel this tug of war inside your soul? I use to c** but stopped long ago. I've been picturing it in my head. Details. I see me taking whole bottles of pills. I'm afraid some little thing will put these thoughts to action.
LavenderHippie
LavenderHippie
Hi honey, the fact that you want to hang on to hope is a start!

Yes, i struggle with this daily, so i know that pain and the back and forth of should i or not.

Are you in therapy? if not, i wish you would start.

If you feel you are in immediate danger, please go to the ER...or call a crisis line, ok?

((((((((((((Big Hugs))))))))))))) xo
tommymott
tommymott
Thoughts and action are two different things. I used to be bothered by thoughts even though I was determined to live and I dealt with the thoughts by using an anti-depressant and negative-thought stopping techniques. Being alive can be a pain sometimes but it's the only game in town that matters. Be good to yourself!
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/positive-thinking-stopping-unwanted-thoughts
deleted_user
deleted_user
I attempted suicide last month, and that netted me, among other things, a stay at the local psychiatric hospital and a full course of ECT (shock) therapy. Hang on, Phoenix. Help is here. We love you. Suicide is not the answer. Get and stay in therapy for at least the next year. Talk to a psychiatrist about a course of medication. We've been where you are, and we know how awful it feels. But there is help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Many times, things just seem to compile themselves against us.

Sometimes, if just one thing is improved, then you can handle it. So, with that said, try to find that one thing you can improve...it may make the difference.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tiger great words..

Phoenix.. We should all hold on. You never do know. I hope something wonderful happens for you soon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Suicide is not the answer. They are right.

Tommymott's got it and I will add to it. There is a song from Journey:

"Be good to yourself when nobody else will."
deleted_user
deleted_user
4myson.. true.. I wish there were a way to put that into action when we are at our worst.. we can be going in all kinds of directions except taking care of self.. and don't even realize it until we are almost broken.