OMG! The end of my professional life was scheduling the wrong meetings! LOL, I mean that means you fuck up two appointments!

Well, actually didn't end I believe in Self employment! I do lots of things - I do part time nanny. I do landscaping, I sell things online, I'll clean a house here and there...

Love home improvements - thinking of hiring a crew.....

Today's companies are brutal and don't care, not loyal - not a good market. Self employed, well - I can take a week or month off if I want or need too : )

Oh, favorite side job? Selling, lotions, potions and toys at "ladies home parties" about a $500-$1000 a week! That was awesome, I do a great party, order shipping - I lots the plot with calling and booking the parties - hey, I'll pay you to book parties!

Do you think this is because you're unwell right now??
I used to be a nurse and I had to take a couple of years off of work to 'get well' again
I eventually had to leave the profession but did work for many years post diagnosis
If you need time to heal I would take it....The right meds and therapy did wonders for me.... Therapy can help you with the things you're currently struggling with
"Losing it' will just hurt you that much more... Even if you decide this isn't a career you want to stick with you can decide it on your own terms and start to think about what might better suit you
My memory is really effected as well...I put a lot on the calender and check it regularly and use a lot of sticky notes... We can find ways to compensate..
Perhaps you could look into seeing a career counsellor?
Big hug for you sweetie..xo

So true Jan - after Dx, I did work another 20 years on meds! REally want to go back to really work with c0-workers and bonuses : )

But just for today - would you like to make my party calls? LMAO!!!!
Really think about me joking about vibrators for an hour - LOTS of money : )

I wish I could come with you G.... haha.... Do you have samples?...lol...x

Thank you both!!! I can;t focus worth a damn right now, and I feel bad because my pacing is probably also distracting my coworker. I'm trying to compensate, settling down a bit.

yes, I've been thinking of taking a medical leave for some time now...you know how we can be: embarrassed to admit, and still trying to play The Role...

I'm right up there with thinking self-employ is the only way, although I suspect that my psychologist and pdoc would both balk at that, given some lapses in judgment that have been leaking out lately.

I'm a fighter, though. thanks for the suggestions!!!

Oh, I've been to one of those vibrator parties. Fun!!!

I have a HUGE suitcase of lotions, potions and lingerie - but I break out a gun case, grin at the ladies and say "Here is the heavy artillery" about 20 toys!

LOL, I give free batteries!

Actually - a friend of mine has suggested all us "home party" wannabe's should have a party and sell are "kits" it's been a year since I've had one - and they are all still new! I promise : ) There is a candle woman, Mary Kay friend and me - with the real goodies!

I rock and roll with the party ...

the calling people to HAVE a party, always smack on depression, damnit!

perfect job two hours a week of laughter..... damint. Back in the day, I was THE sales person, and could book or sell anything - now the phone weighs 832 pounds

I sell posters and things on eBay. I only make a few hundred dollars a month at it but it's a little something at least. I did have to outlay the money for the poster printer and supplies.

HOPE things get better for you Tazmom.

I've been disabled for about 5 years. It was too hard to work after I first got 'sick'. Now the medications are doing great and Im hoping to go back to work pretty soon. The doctor says the memory loss comes from a lot of the bennies like klonopin so he's tapered that down and Im seeing a difference. I can walk into a room three times and have no clue why Im there. Lose stuff all the time very frustrating. Its not just a brain fart. If I could afford it I would also be self employed doing my interior decorating but it's hard to do. Suncloud might be right, you might need time off, it may even help your marriage? Sure helped me get straightened out.

Thanks guys (ladies)--you're on point, wildnuntamed...this craziness at work sometimes does a number on my self-esteem and my husband claims that it's ruined our marriage (although my disorganization at home also doesn't help). It's an easy excuse on his part, but there's some truth to it. I didn't consider that atican might also be contributing to my memory issues. And I just heard on hear that the lamictal might not be helping in that dept. Gotta weigh the strengths and benefits!

I likely won't meet today's project deadline, because my files are beyond hope. But i'm not on the verge of melting from despair, which is often the case.

Momof2--cute daughter!!!!

Warning: this is my longest comment ever. I have been long....but these are my gut honest truth. Because I work a lot and I am bipolar.

I'm still working, but every day, well almost, I worry that the end of my employability is near.

I have executive function deficit, in addition to ADHD. Losing things very well for 40 years. I first obsessed about losing my wallet at age 11. In my room with yellow curtains

Oh, back to your topic, what was it?

So I work full time as a nurse, believe it out not. I give excellent accuracy and care. Good attention to other people's details. My own details are blurry and time is nebulous. I'm always running a little late.

Just today I showed up at 0700 at my gynecologist office. Dumb duck here had it nearly written in her v calendar. But I was in their v book for Thursday. Thankfully, they were super mice and saw me anway.

Sadly, this happens to me more than average, I think. But somehow, I manage to schedule my patients

The very worst area is paperwork and meeting deadlines for me. Bad stuff. Near phobic at times. Less phobic if I stay caught up.

I have tried luminosity.com exercises to strengthen my brain. I swear it helps when I do it. Cognitive re-mediation is another avenue that looks promising, but I've not tried it yet.

Planning ahead. Staying caught up.. Laying out my outfit the night before. Index cards in key places reminding me what I must do. Lollowing tiny routines to get through the day. Realizing it takes me more time to do anything than a "normie".

It's the nursing trading, check, double check. Have backups. Over-prepare. Be able to do it, teach it backwards...I'm only saying this because I think you can do well at whatever you choose. And I am not OCD by nature.

I also know what you mean about being on stage. Ben doing that my whole working life. Learn to be a good actor. Be in control, but with kindness. If anxiety is paralyzing you, and I have been there, get help for it....pharmaceutical help. And if you're burned out on the ninos, bug out. No point in torture.

And honey...go for it, letting loose your creativity. Bless us all with it. :-) That is my goal too.