Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Obviously, I wish I'd never had a breakdown. I know "breakdown" isn't a scientifically correct term, but it fits with what I experienced twice in my life.
Of the first breakdown, I feel that I had been emotionally dead inside for years preceding the breakdown. After a traumatic incident, I was flooded with new experiences of thought. I became skinny for the first time in my life. I ate hot chocolate, powdered, in the packet with a spoon for no reason. I was up in my head and it was dizzying.
sometimes I wonder if some of the weird feeling and visions I had could have been due to the huge amounts of diet dr. pepper I was drinking, because aspartame has been shown to mess with your head, as well.
I post this because I know so many bipolar people may feel hopeless about their condition. I felt like my diagnosis of bipolar I was a dunce cap of worthlessness at the time. there must be silver linings.
Of the first breakdown, I feel that I had been emotionally dead inside for years preceding the breakdown. After a traumatic incident, I was flooded with new experiences of thought. I became skinny for the first time in my life. I ate hot chocolate, powdered, in the packet with a spoon for no reason. I was up in my head and it was dizzying.
sometimes I wonder if some of the weird feeling and visions I had could have been due to the huge amounts of diet dr. pepper I was drinking, because aspartame has been shown to mess with your head, as well.
I post this because I know so many bipolar people may feel hopeless about their condition. I felt like my diagnosis of bipolar I was a dunce cap of worthlessness at the time. there must be silver linings.
That was a silver lining to a breakdown ... the divorce was another stress all unto its own but is is better for my son so another silver lining. =)
then they came again after many years and now i kind of live in fear that it could happen again in the future. especially with an upcoming med change. i feel like i have a good handle on my illness and really good docs this time, but you just never know. i guess i'm still looking for my silver lining. a REAL silver lining, not just an imaginary hope.
of course lately i have slid back to the passive or passive aggressive? I just never got anything but incarcerated through my illness hell i got thrown in 2x for my thyroid acting up. I learned the f word quite well that time.
there is hope you are right for me my hope came in my pdoc after i got released putting me on lithium and that's when i got the fight back.
I guess I don't ave to work anymore because I am too f&&^%d in the head to hold down a job. So I don't have to get up early every morning and go someplace to be thrashed to death and treated like shit. I guess that's a plus. Though I'd give anything to be OK enough to work.
My visions were happy and pile of pollyanna crap. I hope your weird feelings and visions were happy ones too and didn't bring you too much grief.
I too wear the dunce cap of worthlessness. Jealous of anyone who has silver linings.