my meidcations make me fuzzy and slow as well
i just try to make it thru one day at a time
your in my prayers

try to do as much research as you can about your illness. It will help you to track your moods to better help your pcp. Also you will find some ways to get yourself through some of the rougher times. Try to stay as connected as you can here. You will find that it will help you. Also try to find a support group in your area. I know things seem dismal right now but you are going to feel better. It just going to take time and a little effort. Be kind to yourself.

Mine is as under control as it can I think.

It is possible to be happy, healthy and take pleasure from the simple things in life.

It is not easy, its a hell of alot of hard wor but th rewards are worth every second of it.

I would trade my life, my BP or my hardwork for anything in the world. But this is me personally others may not feel the same way.
But Im in a great place, my place, I made it and Im proud of it. Its not perfect the walls are a little cracked and the paint a little chipped but hey I built it...

You can get past this. I have had multiple years of stability as many others here have. Hope you can get in to see a Pdoc soon. They are the ones who truly know what meds to try.
No one medication will work for all, but Lamictal is a good mood stabilizer for many.
Keep reaching out! You will come out of this deep place. Keep holding on. Much love to you and yours!

oh crap tht was meant to say I wouldnt change my life...bloody typos...

I am sorry that you are scared. But, I do understand.

I have to admit that I cannot get it under control. However, there appears to be many that do.

I am probably going to be put on Lithium tomorrow. Nothing else has really worked for me.

I would definately suggest that you go to a Psychiatrist though. PCP are just not generally well enough versed in bipolar disorder. You would probably gain much from branching your care out to others.

Could you have ADD as well? Your last paragraph seems to point to that.

Yes, it is possible to lead a happy and productive life but you have some responsabilities to get enough sleep, eat good nutrious food and exercise. Keeping stress to the minimum is also key. In addition you need a psychiatrist who is well versed in psychopharmocology for bipolars. I have been married for 17 years to a wonderful man, I have 4 kids, two grown daughters and 2 younger sons both with ADHD. I run the household pretty darn well I would say. However, your life will never be the same as it was before as you have a mental health disorder. Sometimes I get hit with a debilitating depression when all I can do is lay on the sofa and just get up to feed the kids, the house, homework etc goes by the wayside but my husband understands this and pitches in and the kids now understand when Mom is having a bad day. I've gained 50# from the meds I'm on so have grief issues regarding my bigger size. All in all I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm on meds that work and am able to exercise everyday. Educate yourself as much as you can regarding BP as new treatments are coming out all of the time. nami.org is a good place to start. Good luck.

It is possible to get your BP under control and have a happy life. Ive been stable for 5yrs now. You just have to get on the right medications. That may take some time. The meds can cause fuzzy thoughts and memory loss. But you sometimes have to deal with some side effects in order to keep the depression or mania away. I say its worth it.

here is a good graph to chart your moods o for your PCP and mabye they can start adjusting your meds to help a little better.
http://www.healthyplace.com//communities/Bipolar/mood_chart_blank.pdf

abilify or celexa will help. You are depressed.

Your Lithium levels may be to low. 600mg twice daily is usually the starting point. Happiness on the other hand is relative. I dont care who you are...all human beings are in search of this illusive creature we call happiness. You must first reach stability before you can start searching your soul for exactly what it is that will make you happy. I hope this helps. Stay strong. God bless you.

I am the same way, I have learned to accept my limitations. I can't plan things well either for the same reason, I don't know how I will feel at that time. People who know me understand this about me. I'm generally ok if something is planned such as dr. appts. or visiting my family members. I am aware in advance that these things will take place. But, these are familiar comfortable settings for me. If its going out where there are a lot of people, I'm not so comfortable. Sociallizing can be very difficult for me. Racing thoughts and memory problems are all a part of the game. Sounds like you may possibly be in a mixed state. Anyways, even with all this stuff, yes, I am extremely happy. You learn alot about yourself, your ups, your downs, but remember you are still you. I have 2 great kids, 21 and 23 that love being around me and I love being around them. But they know sometimes I can't always be there, but when I can, its fantastic. I do enjoy life.

did u ever think u might have post pardum depression.