I chose to break up with my girlfriend this past weekend. She got really upset and began yelling at me about how the only reason I was breaking up with her was because (as she put it) I am bipolar and don't realize what I'm doing. She said that I was only making the decision to end things with her because I am mentally ill, that I am unstable and need her in order to be stable, and that I'm "going down a slippery slope" and won't be able to come back if I keep going the way she had seen me in the past few weeks (and I thought I was doing really, really well in the past few weeks). She even said that she had seen this before (which is absolute crap) and if I do this, it will eventually kill me and she won't be there to help when I realize what a mistake I'm making.

It really, really hurt, and since then I've been spiraling like I haven't in a long time. She made me feel like I am nothing more than my diagnosis. She made me feel different, isolated, like other people only saw me as bipolar, rather than as a person with this condition. It just reduced me to nothing but the disorder in her eyes, and because I cared for and trusted her so much it's destroying me.

I haven't been able to eat since (no food I force myself to eat can stay down); I've been missing all my courses and can barely get out of bed. I haven't felt this horrible in so long (not since we finally got my meds balanced), and I hate that what she said has gotten to me so much. I haven't really had any bipolar stigmas thrown in my face like that, and it's just making me realize that people who know may never see me as the same to them. I'm having the self-injury and suicidal thoughts that disappeared after I started lithium return, and swallowing my pills every night is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I just really need help and I have no one to talk to about this.