Part XII...Maria and I got talking tonight over dinner about our future plans and where we might reside. We are still in the Philippines and we can only stay in our current residence until mid May. This brought up the conversation of where we wanted to live.

I have been in limbo regarding this matter for 18 months since I left my residence in Adelaide city, finding share accommodation where I could and living with my parents short term in between my travels. I have since got use to the backpacking lifestyle, but Maria told me tonight over dinner that we need a permanent address.

I spoke with my father yesterday about maybe returning to Australia since we hadn't completely ruled that out yet. But quickly after going through our budget and realizing the cost of living in Australia compared to the Philippines, it looks as though we will be staying in the Philippines due to financial reasons. If we went to Australia both of us would need to find work in order to survive, I would like to think that I could find work but there is a big risk involved. I have written before that if I get episodic no employer will keep me on, and with the scare I had recently regarding my illness I really don't think it would be a wise move to look for employment at this stage. The Australian government know this, which is why they have approved my disability support pension indefinitely, and maybe I just should accept that fact. Maria would find it difficult to find employment also in a country that is foreign to her. Due to these reasons I think it would be a wise decision for us to stay in the Philippines.

Writing about this is hard, it really breaks my heart and spirit thinking about it. I feel like a failure not being able to support Maria and I in my own country and this is all before we even think about having a family of our own one day.

So now its all about making a life for Maria and I here in the Philippines. I wanted to travel to various islands and cities of the Philippines to find out where we could stay long term, but it appears to me Maria wants to have our new home near her family in Antipolo before we embark on such adventures.

Its not just about me any more, I now have Maria in my life and she is soon to be my wife, and like they say, "happy wife, happy life". I will take her wishes into consideration as long as she is able to make them clear to me, for sometimes she finds it difficult to express to me what is going on for her. But that's ok, I'm sure God has a plan for us. I pray for clarity on this matter in order to follow the right path forward.

Ref: www.boxrep.blogspot.com