Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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HannaHana 09/13/2008

Ok, so I've been with the same man for 2 1/2 years. He was with me before my initial breakdown, and with me throughout the worst of my BP. He has committed himself to trying to learn as much as possible about BP. Of course, he still doesn't get it. He's wonderful with my kids, and very affectionate. I feel safe with him.

The down side though...he's very self-centered. He will not stay on the phone with me if I'm having a rough time b/c it depresses him. If I'm in a bad mood (like I have been), he'll agree that it's best we don't see eachother b/c it would just bring him down. He's got an entrepeneur mind...something I'm completely disinterested in, but he makes me listen to every new idea he comes up with and he's so easily offended that I feel like I can't even joke around with him.

He's a saner (normie) through and through. How the hell to do you talk to someone like that? And how would our future work out if he can't even stand to hear me sad on the phone?

Any suggestions greatly appreciated. xx

deleted_user 09/13/2008

In my experience, you really can't. Several relationships I have had where people claimed to be 'understanding' but everyone always wants to run at the first sign of trouble. I guess there really may be people out there who take extra steps to try to understand, but none that I have encountered.

HannaHana 09/13/2008

Thanks. He's accepted my illness, but he doesn't seem to want to deal with it. I'm just kind of lost I guess.

deleted_user 09/13/2008

I have also have the great experience of being with people who think that just because you are on medication that you are somehow 'cured' and should not have these problems anymore. Maybe I am just in a sour mood, but I really don't think anyone can totally understand what you/we go through unless they themselves have experienced it.

ZanyBeeper 09/13/2008

Hey Hanna. Hmmm....what to say?? Oh, yea, I remember, lol. I don't see how it could work out too well over the long haul as far as living together, marriage, etc. when he can't stand to hear you when you're sad and when you don't like to listen to his business ideas. Sorry, Hanna, kinda sounds like a match made in bipolar hell. :(

deleted_user 09/13/2008

Be grateful with what and who you have. It could be and get worst than it is now. Easily too. There isn't a family member in my life that understands anything about being bipolar.

My parents are deaf, totally deaf. And they have been all their lives. Once when I was being a really big drunken asshole I decided to try to teach them what sound is like. The whole idea embarrasses me to no end. No they still don't hear either.

Be grateful and happy for who you have. Maybe someday he will study more, I think that is very possible.

deleted_user 09/13/2008

Hmmm. I wonder if it would help if you tried to use something like psych appt's as time/place to vent about the BP stuff...that is kinda what I have done to spare both relationships & also my friendships with saners. I think it is often too much, or can be. Tricky. :(

deleted_user 09/13/2008

DS too

HannaHana 09/13/2008

SexyGirl: I completely agree that if you're not in it you don't get it.

Zany: That's exactly how I feel, but I do love him...that's why I'm so torn.

lastgunslinger: I am grateful for everyone I have. I am grateful for him, he's been there for me throughout it all. It's more that I don't want to ruin his life by depressing him. It's his choice to be with me, but I don't know that I could look at it without the guilt of how different (better) his life could have been.

HannaHana 09/13/2008

Lou: I don't vent BP stuff to him, I know he doesn't get it...he automatically assumes that anything I say or do that he doesn't approve of is the BP. I have a whole BP family to vent to...and DS. :)

ladybug2008 09/13/2008

When I am down, I actually don't blame my husband for getting away from me a bit. He does realize now when as I call it scarey-suicidal. He likes to talk about himself more than listen about me. Maybe that is partially a man thing. Just look at it from all angles.

HannaHana 09/13/2008

Thanks Ladybug. I don't have to mention anything to him. He hears it in my voice and he can't stand to talk to me. I haven't seen him in a month b/c of this, and our conversations last maybe 10 or 15 minutes (unless he's got some new great business idea).

I just feel like I can't talk to him. I can joke around about my mental illness, but he doesn't like that. I feel like I need just friends that I can be me around b/c I certainly can't act the way I feel around him.

deleted_user 09/13/2008

Yes, I have also had some people in my life that thought that any little thing I did was somehow related to the fact that I am bipolar. Sometimes start to only see you for that which isn't fair because, we too have some 'normal' reactions to things without it meaning that we are having some kind of bipolar related trauma.

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