I find myself doubting the pdoc and my bipolar etc. diagnoses quite often. There are days that I want to scream to everyone that I am not bipolar, you are wrong, the meds are screwing with me and making things worse. That my klonopin makes my anxiety worse because I am physically addicted to them. I can't express myself like I used to before the meds. I used to be able to write wonderful stories, reports for school when I was going, and actually remember thoughts long enough to get it on the damn paper. I'm so sad over this. I've been in the hospital 4 times, on lots of meds, a couple pdocs, counseling....wtf?? I am not accepting what the docs tell me and I feel like they are wrong. I know it sounds real crazy but I keep ending up thinking they are all wrong and I scare myself.
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So I got laid off over the phone this week. It was a total surprise but they could have shown up to do it. Luckily I work in health care so finding a job won't take months I'm hoping. But I still worry, not sleeping well and it's getting to my family. I'm so tired and this is just grinding me down.
Proverbs 17:27-28 New Living Translation (NLT)27 A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.28 Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.