Yes.... 20 yr old daughter is a beeper. She drinks too much and is so irresponsible for her actions. I have no advice because Im overwhelmed myself. But, I am here to listen for support. (((hugs)))

This is the first time I have ever "talked" to anyone on this site. I just click on to read and hopefully find someone is the same situation. What is a beeper? I assume it is someone who medicates with drugs and alcohol.

Sorry Somebody who is bipolar.
There is a group called Family and Friends of Bipolar that might suit you better than here.

I have a 25 y/o son who has bipolar disorder. He is a recovering opiate addict and drinks heavily to self medicate, He refuses to accept his disorder and get proper medical treatment which he can get for free at the local psyche clinic. We asked him to leave 2 years ago or get clean. He chose to leave.

My best advice to you would be to "let go" and let your child grow up. We have boundaries with ours and work hard not to enable him to continue to fail. He has no job, no insurance and is in major debt. I have to be concerned for my other three sons and my own mental health so have had to make some very serious and difficult decisions. It takes time and hard work to learn to "let go" and enable them to realize that their life is their own.

I wish you the best, cuz its a difficult road. My therapist helps me a great deal through all this and has given me the strength to realize some very important things. We cannot control what they do anymore after a certain age but the most difficult thing is to watch them suffer and make very bad decisions, we have to do it to teach them to live by giving support but not enabling.

Hugs

Thanks for your kind words.

That is what we are trying to do, but my husband and I are not always on the same page.
I have been in therapy also and so has my son, but I still don't think he realizes the seriousness of his disorder. (It is also difficult for him because he was an overachiever in high school and now he sees everyone go forward with their lives, etc.) It just kills me as a parent. I have read and read and I know you are right but I still just can not quit worrying and crying, although I think I am beter than a couple of years ago.
It has been seven years now since his life spun out of control. He knows he has a problem but will not take medicine.

Again, thanks for commenting. "Tumbel" suggested I try another group, so I may look there too.

Building on what Tumbel said, you may find families and friends of Bipolar more useful

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Family-and-Friends-of-Bipolar/support-group

Our lives are in a fishbowl here in our small community....we would do anything to help him and are killing ourselves trying. I am more sad for him than anything.

Mental illness carried such a stigma many years ago and it was a sign of weakness. Even now I know some of our friends probably think we are enabling our son, but until you walk in someone's shoes you don't know what you will do.

I am glad you got your life together. Did medicine help? I wish my son would try medicine again. Although he is holding his own now and doesn't drink as often I still think he should not drink at all.

Thanks for your reply.

Ok, sorry, just went and read your profile...SSDI is Social Security Disability Insurance. I don't know if we want my son to pursue that at his age. He has a degree and we are hoping when this economy changes he will be able to get a better job.

I was a self medicating beeper. what made me change was a friend saw me destroying my life. He recommended I see a psych. My parents may have put him up to it but either way I'm medicated and no longer self medicating. I feel more in control even though I have down times. I'm older so it may not work as well with younger people but you might try to enlist one of his friends that respect you and can see what it's doing to him.

The vast majority of people here would say medication is essential.

Many would agree that alcohol doesn't help (it tends not to help any situation), plus it interferes with the meds.

Some have less severe BP than others. I've remained employed for nearly 30 yrs with a good corporate job.