Hi Cheryl, I think we women do take on other's drama, especially those we love. We think we can "fix" everything for everyone but it just makes us sick when we try to "control" situations. I had to learn that when my mother was sick that I don't and never did control anything. Shit happens and people go on their merry way, doing whatever it is they do, and I end up being the only one that is really worried.

Let it go, Cheryl. Let the worry and control go and then you might can help your loved ones and certainly it will save you. The only thing you are in control of is your reaction to what happens. We can't control sick mothers or alcoholism or grown children that are having growing pains.

I feel your pain, really!! You love them and you want the best for them. It's okay to love yourself first, even if it takes counseling for you to learn how to do that.

You are in my thoughts. Hope you get some peace and rest today.

Hi Cheryl~~

Well .... that just sucks.

Maybe you can rewind and start a better day with another trip to the gym and a strategy for dealing with your family members.

I don't know whether you had an agreement or understanding with your brother about alcohol use but it's important to put something in writing right now so your both are clear about the house rules and expectations. When we let others treat us poorly, we are, in a round about way, treating ourselves poorly. Most of us don't want to rock the boat or create an uncomfortable situation so we keep our mouths shut but the other people in our lives have no trouble rocking our boat or creating uncomfortable situations. It's okay to put your needs and expectations first.

As for your son, I assume he's an adult who got himself into a bad situation. The best thing you can do is offer sound advice. If he's done something wrong, he can help himself by either turning himself in or addressing whatever it is that's causing him concern.

I hope today is a better day for you!

Yes this is what this place is for. If you don't take care of you know one else does remember that. Either he stops the drinking again or else he is out yes I agree with that. As far as your son goes yes you care and worry about him but that is his life. You have your life right now and you don't need any stress you are just starting to feel better. Support him but let him figure it out I agree with you. It is best to not let anyone stress you out so you can continue to feel good.

That was excellent advice BabyShelby. I just wanted you to know that. It's very similar to what my therapist had said...and it got me on the right track!

Big hug for you Cheryl... I hope your brother is able to stop again without a problem.... There is plenty of help available for him.... Addiction is a wicked beast for sure

Thank you all for the support. The funny thing is both my son and brother are acting like nothing happened. My son calls me in crisis mode then I get a message from his gf everything is ok. My brother acted like his drinking was no big deal. I was so stressed and no one cared how I felt. I feel like a doormat. I am glad you all are here. I am glad I have a therapist to work with I need to learn how to let things go and not be a doormat and a worrier.