I am sorry that you are suffering so much. I don't have children so I can't advise, but I hear your pain and hope that the therapist will be of some help. ((((Hugs))))

I've had experience with my oldest son. At 15 he was a terror so I wonder if that's normal behavior... If so we don't have to put up with it. I know there are legal classifications for this and steps the State will take to remove the child from your home. He needs to be aware that he's making decisions that will affect him and you need to have your options in place.

I don't have children either..but wanted to hug you and say Im so sorry you're going through such a rough time sweetie.. I hope the therapist will be helpful.. I was much like this as a teen..very angry... fortunately teens grow up...x

(((COMFORT TATS)))

I've no kids, so though I can't really understand all your feelings, but do understand you must be very frustrated. Have your cry. You deserve it. Cleanse yourself. Then chin up, love - you are doing exactly the right thing in making the appointment for him. Remember the eternal arithmetic:

YOU + GOD = ENOUGH

Take it one day at a time. You can stick it out long enough to get him to that appointment, and then make to the next. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Bon courage, mon amie!

Debs, I remember when my son did that with me - I didn't handle it so well either - emotionally.

But what I Know, is that if anything happened to you Tristan would Never get over it. He may be mumbling "bitch" at the moment, but he Loves you - I don't have to be there to know it, because I Lived it.

What he's doing is not the best way to handle feelings, of course, but if you can find a way to talk to him and set Boundaries for the two of you, do so - just Not when you're angry.

Letting him know - and letting Yourself know - that it's All Right to feel exactly how you feel, but maybe what you Do with it could be revised - may help soften the "rules and boundaries" issues; and if he is willing for therapy, I hope you get a Good therapist.

*hugggggs* - they're only 15 once. :/

My new mantra, "he is only 15 once, he is only 15 once"

Thanks everyone.....I appreciate the kind words and support. Things have calmed for the night. I think we are both bound for a good nights sleep after this blow out! Thanks again.

my 13yr old son had a verbal go at me the other night. (cause i finally took his IPOD off him) he said I was an awful mother and he wished I didn't have a 'disorder: !!!! It hurt i was suprised as he'd not lashed out like that b4, but I knew he was angry, and I know he really does love me. teens are a handfull

hug tats

Ahhhh, the famed teenagers. And to think that this is only the beginning.

My son is now 25 and I think I finally noticed a small bit of adulthood starting to grow within him. At least I think that is happening??

Maybe my son is just a full grown pod people.

AH the wonderful, hormonal, "I know more than you" teenage years! My son use to mumble under his breath and just get under my skin. I use to tell him, "you are allowed to feel any way you feel, but you aren't allowed to disrespect me." My daughter, not so easy to handle! I absolutely hate yelling and drama and she was the ultimate drama queen!! I have to take deep breaths just remembering those times. She would scream "YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE." My response was always, "It's ok Dear, I know a good therapist".

Sorry Tats that your son is being no so good. My girls grew up in dysfunctional hell but it did make them what they are today - responsible adults

They had to get up in the morning and get dress, feed themselves and then Gramma would come pick them up for school and they were on their own for the first 90 minutes after school as I worked 5/6am to 4/5 pm. This started when they were 8 & 10. There were rules to follow - no going outside, homework done before video games & tv, call must be made to me at work 15 minutes after school let out and noone allowed in the house til I got home. We had two large dogs so felt relatively safe with them being home alone.

At the age of 15 my oldest decided that she wanted to go live with her boyfriend. I allowed it. Now before anyone jumps me please know there were circumstances that led up to this. Also the boyfriend lived above his parents garage and they promised to keep an eye on her. This is a child who had worked since she was 14.

When she turned 16 she decided she wanted to drop out of school with the promise of getting her GED - if that didnt happen she would be back in school and not living with boyfriend any longer. She not only got her GED but managed to hold down a job and for the most part pay her bills with me and gramma picking up the slack. Today said child is a charge nurse in a hospital and stuying for her 3rd college degree shooting fort nurse practioner license.

My youngest got into massive trouble when she was 15 (seems to be the age for it). We had no choice but to put her into foster care at the age of 16, as the state was forcing it. She stayed in foster care til 17 and then moved out on her own. She finished HS on time while holding down a job. She is gainfully employed now and graduated college this year.

My point in telling you this is no matter what the rules are in your house. He will hopefully outgrow it

And as far as being called a bitch - the word never has bothered me. Melissa used to utter it all the time. She is highly intelligent and in truth back then (unmedicated and with the wrong dx) I was a bitch. At the age of 9 I told her - Yes sometimes I am a bitch so here is the deal. Everytime she called me it she was forced to go to her room Hour later I would come in and we would talk calmly. If she could argue her point without hysteria (something very hard for her as she was showing classic bp signs back then and was unmedicated. If she proved her point then hour in room was sufficent. If on the other hand she had been punished fairly and had still uttered BITCH then she had two days to think about it in her room - being allowed out for bathroom, school and meals only . It took about 2 years and alot of honesty on both our parts but my high strung child didnt, after the age of 12, call me a bitch again til she was 21

Thanks Weider I liked reading your posts....makes me feel not to alone out here!!!

I had a nice sit down talk with Tristan and he said he knows he has a fresh mouth and will be working in it. He also told me he thinks he has an anger "issue" which he's really had since he was a toddler....not getting his own way and throwing a fit, well, he still does it when things don't go his way. Have to admit he got that honest!!! I'm glad we are able to sit down and talk that is key in all this I think, communication. As long as those lines are never severed we will have something to work with!!

Thanks everyone for the support and sharing, I have a better outlook on this stuff than I did last night.....oxox

And I will add - Not for you necessarily Tats as Tristian is a bit old for this but for parents of younger kids. I do not believe in abuse of a child - I grew up in one but I do believe there are times a kid deservies a spanking. Mel had her last one at 9. And Tory at 12 . My kids were kidnapped at 3 &5 of age and when I got them back they had been put thru hell and back. Melissa was pissed and angry (Tory held out and got that way about age 12) . I truthfully think that we are doing a diservice to our kids when we allow them to assume life is fair and there is no punishment for their bad behavior and yes sometimes (not always) that punishment needs to come as a spanking.

((HUGS)) I don't have much else to add, except I have a daughter four years younger and I haven't gone thru that yet. So far she has been such an easy child. You have my support and prayers

Teens, kill them all and let God sort them out.